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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27044053">and they were roommates</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/empress_ofbloodshed/pseuds/empress_ofbloodshed'>empress_ofbloodshed</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>gasolina au [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:09:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,846</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27044053</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/empress_ofbloodshed/pseuds/empress_ofbloodshed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>These will be short stories that follow Rowan and Lorcan throughout their college experience. They will be in chronological order, with the exceptions of gasolina itself, the wedding, and the double date.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lorcan Salvaterre/Rowan Whitethorn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>gasolina au [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2018696</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. move in day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is set in the same au as gasolina but it’s much earlier (like gasolina was their junior year, this is their freshman year)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan had never been more thankful for his busybody twin cousins than the day they decided they were helping him move into his dorm. He and his roommate had been texting sporadically over the summer, debating on who would bring what. Lorcan moved in a week ago because of ice hockey practice, even though it was considered a winter sport.</p><p>Filling the wheeled bin with boxes, Rowan shut the trunk of Isla’s car and hurried after Morgana. The U-haul they rented was still half full of boxes and the mini-fridge. He carried his lamp and followed the twins to the building, flashing his keycard for access and heading for the elevator. It took them four more trips to empty the truck.</p><p>Then came the organizing and unboxing and decorating. Isla took it upon herself to build his little Ikea bookshelf while Morgana helped him raise the bed so he could use the empty space beneath as extra storage space. Rowan’s mum found them a few hours later condensing all the boxes and stuffing them back into the bin in the hall. They ate burgers from the shop down the street from the student housing complex, sitting cross-legged on the floor.</p><p>The door opened and in walked Rowan’s roommate. Lorcan Salvaterre. Gods, he was tall. His black hair was wet, hanging loose down to nearly his waist. He scowled.</p><p>“Rowan, right?” he asked, voice deep. Rowan nodded, swallowing his bite of fries. “Hi. Bye. Be back later.” Lorcan grabbed a leather jacket off of his bed and turned, slamming the door behind him.</p><p>Rowan’s mum snorted. “He seems nice.”</p><p>“Mum,” Rowan hissed.</p><p>“Gods, Ro. I’m sure you two will be friends in no time. If he doesn’t step on you first.” She and his cousins laughed.</p><p>Rowan glowered. He stole the last of his mother’s fries, stuffing them in his mouth. She swatted him. Swallowing, he chirped, “Don’t you have a flight back to Doranelle to catch, Mum?”</p><p>Smacking a kiss on his forehead, his mother pulled him in tight for a long hug. Then his cousins took their turns hugging him and he walked them to the car. He watched with his hands in the pockets of his jeans as they pulled away, watching until the car vanished into the sea of move-in day traffic.</p><p>Seeing as it was only five, Rowan decided to wander. Orynth was a beautiful city and the University of Terrasen (or UofT to the students) sat smack-dab in the middle. Modern glass buildings mixed with towering stone structures wound together to form a strange harmony of beauty. Sitting down on a shaded bench in the quad, Rowan was more than content to watch for a little while. A group of guys played frisbee on the grass, a girl with golden-blonde hair sat on a blanket and read a book, two girls strolled past arm in arm and laughing. But Rowan would know that cover anywhere. She was reading <em>The Iliad</em>.</p><p>Pushing down his nerves, he walked over to her. The girl looked up, sliding her headphones around her neck.</p><p>“Can I help you?” she asked, obviously confused. Now that he stood in front of her, he realized just how pretty she was. Turquoise eyes ringed with gold contrasted stunningly with her sun-kissed skin and golden hair.</p><p>“Sorry,” Rowan mumbled, reaching up to fidget with the hawk pendant on his necklace. “I just noticed you were reading <em>The Iliad</em>. It’s one of my favorites.”</p><p>She laughed, the sound fitting in perfectly with the world around them. “You’re more than welcome to sit, mystery man. I’m Aelin.”</p><p>Sitting awkwardly, Rowan pulled his phone from his pocket and sat it beside him. He felt out of place without a book in hand. “I’m Rowan, Rowan Whitethorn.”</p><p>“Now, Rowan Whitethorn, tell me about yourself.”</p><p>They chatted until it got dark and a brisk wind swept through the quad. Aelin walked with Rowan back to his dorm, coincidentally living a few floors below him. They exchanged numbers, promising to get together and talk about some of their favorite books more.</p><p>Unlocking the door to his room, Rowan stepped inside with a smile. Today was a good day. He already made a friend. The sight of his very shirtless roommate with a girl straddling his lap made that good feeling vanish in an instant.</p><p>“Get the fuck out, Whitethorn,” Lorcan growled, his hands tightening on the girl’s waist.</p><p>Rowan hurriedly grabbed a hoodie, his laptop, headphones, water bottle, and his half-finished copy of <em>The Song of Achilles</em>, leaving his roommate to have sex with the girl. He wandered until he found a plush armchair on the ground floor and settled into it, opening his book. Eventually he saw the girl hurry past and deemed it safe to return.</p><p>This time, he knocked before opening the door. Lorcan scowled at his appearance, tugging on a shirt for UofT’s hockey team. “Fucking Hels, this is gonna be a long year,” Lorcan hissed under his breath.</p><p>Rowan silently padded past, changing into his pajamas and heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he returned, he headed straight for his bed and jumped up onto it, pulling up the blankets. His roommate played Netflix at an ungodly loud volume. “Turn that down, would you? Some of us are trying to sleep,” Rowan snapped. Then he groaned as the volume only increased. Pulling his pillow over his head, he tried to drown out the noise.</p><p>The door slammed and Rowan startled. Checking his phone, he saw it was only six and groaned. He was dozing when Lorcan returned. Drawers opened and shut and then the door clicked shut. </p><p>Sitting up, Rowan blearily rubbed at his eyes. He stumbled to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face. Freshman orientation didn’t even start until noon. He had four hours to kill, thanks to his roommate. If every day was like this, he was going to kill Lorcan Salvaterre before the year was over.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. close call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The soreness in his legs makes Lorcan drag his feet and slow his pace on the sidewalk. Coach really tortured them this morning; it was leg day. First came the three timed miles on the treadmill, then split squats, hip thrusts, and finally the heels elevated back squat. All three with weight. He threw in some viking landmine presses as relief for their legs, thank Hellas.</p><p>Afterward, Lorcan’s legs felt like jelly. He just wanted to go back to his dorm, take a shower and pass out until his class at eleven.</p><p>The light flashed, indicating he only had a few seconds left to cross the street. Lorcan jogged across the intersection, even as his legs protested. He took a swig from his nearly-empty water bottle, passing what few students chose to take classes at eight in the morning. Like who in their right mind would do that? Sure as Hel not Lorcan. He would willingly get up at five to work out for hockey, but anything earlier than ten for classes was a no from him.</p><p>Morning traffic through the city wasn’t bad yet, seeing as it was only 7:30. A few cars drove past, their engines a dull thrum. Lorcan knew that even though the main street was one way, the buses were the only ones allowed their own lane to head the opposite direction. The upperclassmen on the team joked that it was only a matter of time before some clueless freshie stepped into the bus lane and got hit.</p><p>Delightful.</p><p>Lorcan passed his roommate without noticing until after, the silver-haired boy’s nose stuck in a book with his earbuds in. Shaking his head, Lorcan huffed a laugh to himself. That boy always had his nose in a book. He and Aelin both.</p><p>Sparing one glance back to see if Whitethorn noticed him, Lorcan swore filthily under his breath. He could see the bus coming and stupid Whitethorn was about to step into the street to cross.</p><p>“Whitethorn!” he shouted. No answer. “Rowan!” Yet again, no answer. “Gods damn that boy to Hel,” Lorcan hissed, dropping his duffle and running, even as his muscles screamed in protest at being used again so soon. He tackled his oblivious roommate to the sidewalk just as the bus roared past, saving the stupid boy from getting hit.</p><p>Rowan opened his mouth to yell at Lorcan, closing it as he realized how close he had been to danger. And the fact that Lorcan was still lying on top of him, his chest heaving.</p><p>Lorcan stood and brushed the grime off his hands, holding out a hand for Whitethorn and helping him to his feet. He jogged back over to grab his discarded duffle and water bottle. Thankfully, very few other students were around. And those that were stared at their phones or had coffee in their hands. He prayed they hadn’t seen.</p><p>“Thank you,” Rowan said, dragging his hand through his silver hair. The sincerity in his pine-green eyes tripped Lorcan up.</p><p>Punching his roommate’s shoulder, Lorcan chuckled. “Maybe don’t walk around campus with your nose in a book, pretty boy. I’m not always gonna be there to save you like a knight in shining armour.”</p><p>Rowan blushed, mumbling that he had to go and rushing away. Lorcan watched him leave for a second then turned around and headed for their dorm. The shower called his name. Then it was time for a quick nap. His stomach growled. Okay, maybe a decent meal, too. Then a nap.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. studying</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>short and sweet do have some rowcan pissing each other off</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lorcan texted Elide after practice needing to complain about his new roommate. They had dated in high school but ultimately decided they were better off as friends. So friends they were. Lorcan didn’t mind. He just laughed when Elide told him he was scaring away all of her options.</p><p>“It’s college, Lorcan!” she cried out in exasperation. “I want to have sex. And you’re not helping with your brooding. You’re scaring away everyone.”</p><p>“Lochan,” he snickered. “If you’re desperate you could always fuck me. You’ve done it before.”</p><p>Elide whacked him on the arm with her metal water bottle. “Gods, you disgust me. Why would you say that?” She shook herself, trying to shake off his comment. “Ew. Fuck you.”</p><p>They had known since junior year they both wanted to study engineering, so they shared quite a few classes. Stealing a table in the library, Lorcan complained about Whitethorn as he and Elide worked on their assignment. She declared she wanted to meet him and he groaned.</p><p>“Ugh, speak of the rutting bastard,” Lorcan grumbled, seeing his silver-haired roommate walk out of the stacks with a notebook in his hands and a pencil tucked behind his ear.</p><p>“Is that him?” Elide whisper-shouted. Lorcan nodded. He reached for her when she stood but just missed her hand before she waltzed over to where Whitethorn was setting up his laptop. Bouncing back over, Elide dragged up a third chair and sat back down next to Lorcan. “Ae’s coming by later to study with him. I thought we could all study together. How’s that, Salvaterre? Good? Good. You have no choice. Welcome to the group, Rowan.”</p><p>Lorcan groaned inwardly, kicking Elide under the table. The last thing he wanted to do was spend more time with his roommate that he absolutely needed to. His best friend just glared at him, silently telling him to be <em>nice</em>.</p><p>“Whitethorn,” he greeted his roommate with a baring of teeth that was supposed to be smile.</p><p>Rowan just waved shyly and pulled the pencil from where it was tucked behind his ear, flipping open his notebook and picking up his novel. Elide and Lorcan argued over the answer to one of the questions on their assignment in hushed voices.</p><p>A golden whirlwind rushed through the library, nearly dropping the travel holder for three drinks. Aelin grinned with flushed cheeks as she handed everyone but Lorcan a drink. She nibbled on the inside of her cheek while staring at him, clearly holding back something she wanted to say.</p><p>“Spit it out, G,” Lorcan grumbled. “We all know you can’t hold your tongue.”</p><p>“I didn’t realize you were Ro’s asshole roommate.”</p><p>Rowan choked on his drink, coughing violently. Others in the library stared at their little table. Aelin pounded on his back, sitting down and pulling a book from her backpack, completely ignoring Lorcan. Lorcan curled his fingers into a fist around his pen, nearly snapping it. Hellas help him, Aelin Galathynius had a way of getting on his nerves even when she wasn’t trying. And his roommate, that little shit.</p><p>“Let’s behave ourselves, shall we?” Elide chirped before Lorcan and Aelin could get into a fight. “Gods, you’re all fucking children,” she hissed under her breath.</p><p>Stretching his legs out, Lorcan pretended not to notice when his booted feet rested on top of Whitethorn’s, sitting across from him. The silver-haired little shit glared, stomping on his toe. Hissing in pain, Lorcan drew his feet back. He didn’t try to irritate him any further, not wanting to risk the wrath of both him and Aelin.</p><p>How nice. Aelin and Elide lived on the same floor of their housing complex. Lorcan walked behind the three of them on their way back, checking his phone. The only messages were from Vaughan complaining about one of the other freshman defenders on the team. Who poor Vaughan happened to be stuck in a dorm with.</p><p>Once back in their own dorm, Lorcan kicked off his boots and flopped onto his bed. Whitethorn sat with perfect posture on his own bed, earbuds in and typing rapidly away on his laptop. Lorcan bristled, fishing his headphones out of the mess of his backpack. He couldn’t focus with that godsdamned rapidfire tapping of keys. So he turned his music up and settled into the calc problem, pointedly ignoring Whitethorn.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. drunk rowan telling lorcan he likes guys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin had plied him with vodka shots all night and now Rowan danced with her, not caring what anyone else thought in the crowd of bodies in the frat house. Laughing, he spun her around until they got dizzy and found a corner to collapse in. One where thankfully no one was making out in.</p><p>“Imma get water,” Aelin slurred, stumbling off to hunt down a bottle of water. Rowan watched her leave, resting his eyes for a second.</p><p>Next thing he knew it was very, very bumpy. And it smelled good. Like cedar, not booze and sweat and sex. With a dopey smile, he poked the back of whoever was carrying him.</p><p>“What now, Whitethorn?” Lorcan hissed. Rowan shrieked, wriggling until he was set down. “Hellas help me. I’m taking you home. Unless you can walk now. You fell asleep at the party, gods know how you managed that.”</p><p>Rowan could barely stand, let alone focus enough to force the two blurry images of his very tall, dark and stormy roommate into one. He tried to take a step and lost his balance, falling onto the concrete sidewalk. Then Lorcan slung him over his shoulder again like he was a sack of potatoes and this time Rowan didn’t fight it. He just toyed with the fluffy little tail of Lorcan’s long braid, pretending it was a paintbrush on the black leather of his jacket.</p><p>Lorcan set him down once they were inside their room and Rowan puked in the trash can. Greedily drinking the glass of water Lorcan poured for him, Rowan fought with the laces of his Vans. Frustrated, he yanked them off and threw them in the direction of his bed.</p><p>“So, Whitethorn,” Lorcan drawled, leaning against his bed just watching him with those very dark and mildly soulless eyes, “why isn’t your girlfriend bringing you back?”</p><p>Rowan laughed. Laughed so hard he wheezed and tears streamed down his face. “Oh no,” he giggled, barely able to form words. “Lorcan lorcanlorcanlorcan tha’s funny. Iー” he pointed at himself, more like stabbing his chest, “ーI do not like girls. Not in <em>tha’</em> way. Nonono we’refriends, juss’ friends. I like guys.” He felt so proud of himself, finally admitting to his roommate the last thing he had kept secret.</p><p>“You like guys?” Lorcan echoed in confusion, his brows knotted.</p><p>Nodding exaggeratedly, Rowan grinned. “Yup. Yupyup. Guys are pretty.” Cocking his head, he giggled. “Youwouldbecute if you weren’t a dickshit. Tha’s not right. Dickwad!” Rowan giggled harder at the blush on his roommate’s cheeks, rudely interrupted by the need to puke.</p><p>Lorcan dragged Rowan to his feet and to the communal bathrooms, forcing him to brush his teeth. He helped him into his pajamas once they returned and into his tall bed. Rowan just watched as Lorcan emptied the trash can, returning a few minutes later with a bottle of painkillers and a full water bottle to set on the table.</p><p>“Night, Rowan,” Lorcan said.</p><p>Rowan parroted it back, burrowing into his bed with a sleepy smile.</p><hr/><p>Lorcan had been at the frat party, playing beer pong with Elide and obliterating the other team. They won and he headed off to find a beer and an unoccupied bathroom. Returning to the main area to find his friend, Lorcan saw a crop of silver-hair out of the corner of his eye. Rowan rutting Whitethorn, asleep in a corner like a toddler.</p><p>Sighing, he stalked over and hefted his roommate over his shoulder. Rowan grumbled in his sleep as Lorcan wrapped his hand around his thighs to hold him in place. Elide saw him and stifled a giggle, snapping a picture before telling Lorcan to go. Clearly Rowan needed him more, she told him.</p><p>So Lorcan left the party. A few of his teammates booed and he flipped them off. He wasn’t a big fan of parties anyway.</p><p>Rowan decided to be a little bitch and make a fuss in the middle of the sidewalk. At least until he fell over. Mentally face-palming, Lorcan carried him back to their dorm. This boy could not hold his alcohol, that much was clear.</p><p>“So, Whitethorn,” Lorcan drawled, leaning against his bed just watching his roommate wipe his mouth after puking, “why isn’t your girlfriend bringing you back?” Rowan and Aelin were nearly inseparable ever since they met.</p><p>Lorcan startled at Rowan’s laughter. His roommate laughed so hard he wheezed and tears streamed down his face. “Oh no,” he giggled, barely able to form words. “Lorcan lorcanlorcanlorcan tha’s funny. Iー” he pointed at himself, more like stabbing his chest, “ーI do not like girls. Not in <em>tha’ </em>way. Nonono we’refriends, juss’ friends. I like guys.”</p><p>“You like guys?” Lorcan echoed with a confused frown.</p><p>Nodding exaggeratedly, Rowan grinned. It was blinding, like he was a little kid who tied his own shoes for the first time. “Yup. Yupyup. Guys are pretty.” Cocking his head, he giggled. “Youwouldbecute if you weren’t an dickshit.” Rowan frowned, as if realizing that wasn’t the right word. The gears turned in his mind. “Tha’s not right. Dickwad!”he exclaimed excitedly, giggling until he puked again.</p><p>Lorcan swore under his breath, trying his best not to react. But the heat in his cheeks gave him away, he knew it. Elide was the only one who ever called him cute, but it was usually to annoy him. No one else had.</p><p>Drunken words were sober thoughts. So that meant his roommate that always had his nose in a book thought he was cute. He prayed silently to Hellas that Rowan wouldn’t remember this conversation, lost to the sea of drunken memories.</p><p>So Lorcan helped his very drunk, giggling silver-haired roommate get ready for bed. Then he cleaned up the mess Whitethorn made. Rowan parrotted a good night after Lorcan said it as he turned off the lights to crawl into his bed. He lay on his back staring into the darkness, listening to Whitethorn’s steady breathing. Sleep refused to come to him, no matter how much he wanted it.</p><p>Rowan was gay. The thought sent an unwelcome tingle of warmth through his body. Lorcan shoved it away, reminding himself that Rowan Whitethorn was an annoying little shit.  The combination of silver hair and sunkissed skin and pine green eyes was just annoying as fuck because of how well they went together and the sheer attractiveness of it. Lorcan despised his roommate. Nothing more, nothing less.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. extra credit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this idea hit me like a truck and now rowcan in ancient grecian armor pretending to be achilles and patroclus lives rent free in my head</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Alright, class,” Professor Farys began, “I’m only going to say this once. This semester before finals I’m offering you all a chance at extra credit. Five points of it, to be exact.”</p><p>Extra credit. Everyone in the class perked up at that. Rowan sat up straighter, nudging a nearly half-asleep Aelin with his elbow. Those extra credit points could bring his B-plus up to an A-minus if he played his cards right.</p><p>Rowan practically skipped to the coffee shop near the lecture hall. Aelin trudged down the sidewalk, yawning into her fist with a beanie with a massive pom-pom tugged low over her golden hair. He already knew what he wanted to do. If his surly roommate agreed, that is. Considering the class was about Greek mythology and history, everything was fair game. Professor Farys’s only rules were nothing explicitly sexual, it had to relate to something they learned about during the course, and their partner couldn’t be someone from the class.</p><p>Naturally, Rowan wanted to do something dealing with the siege of Troy and <em>The Iliad</em>. As they stood in line for their coffee orders, Aelin mumbled something about how she was going to rope Sam into using his filmmaker skills to make a short of the story of Aphrodite and Adonis with Elide as Persephone.</p><p>Lorcan Salvaterre was in a foul mood when Rowan returned to their shared dorm. The second he opened the door the anger rolling off his roommate hit him in waves. Rowan didn’t dare bring up his extra credit project right then. He happened to like his head; he didn’t want to see it ripped off. So he waited until his roommate was in a better mood to ask.</p><p>Nudging the door open with his hip, Rowan held the bags of takeout from the Chinese restaurant a few blocks away tightly. Lorcan had his headphones on, his long dark hair pulled back in a haphazard bun at the nape of his neck. His eyes flicked from Rowan to the food, then back again.</p><p>“Whaddya want?” he glowered.</p><p>Rowan set the bags down on the desk and began separating the food. “Who said I want something?”</p><p>Lorcan grumbled something under his breath, elbowing Rowan out of the way and grabbing his food. Then he lounged on his bed, digging in. Halfway through finishing the container, he set his chopsticks down. “You’re staring,” he mumbled through his mouthful of food.</p><p>“Sorry,” Rowan apologized, his cheeks burning as he ducked his head.</p><p>“Whaddya want, Whitethorn? You’re trying to wine and dine me and I don’t know why.”</p><p>Sputtering, Rowan tried to refuse that that’s <em>not</em> what he was doing. But yeah, it kinda was. Taking a deep, steadying breath, he offered Lorcan a smile. “Will you help me with my extra credit project?</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“You don’t even know what it is!”</p><p>“No. N. O.”</p><p>“You’re an asshole, Lorcan Salvaterre.”</p><p>“Get in line, pretty boy. You’re not the first to say that and you sure as Hel won’t be the last.”</p><p>Rowan harumphed, snatching the container out of Lorcan’s hands. The shock practically slapped across his roommate’s face was priceless. Before he could move to snatch it back, Rowan held up his finger in pause. Lorcan ignored that and moved faster than Rowan thought he could. Next thing he knew, Lorcan’s hand was around his throat, his back up against the wall.</p><p>“You’ve got some balls, pretty boy,” Lorcan sneered. Their faces were inches apart, their noses practically brushing. Rowan’s eyes darted down to Lorcan’s lips then back up at him. His roommate noticed and stepped back quickly. The loss of his warmth was sharp. Rowan tried not to feel offended, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t on purpose, it just happened.</p><p>Grabbing the bag with his food, Rowan slammed the door behind him and headed for Aelin’s dorm.</p><p>The next evening Lorcan told Rowan he would do it. Confused, Rowan asked Aelin about it. His best friend’s grin was purely wicked.</p><p>Thankfully, the theatre company was putting on a showing of <em>Antigone</em> so they already had the costumes. Aelin, Elide, and Sam all came with them since they were going to use the costumes later. Dorian let them all in quietly, making them swear that they wouldn’t touch or break anything.</p><p>Rowan dressed fairly quickly in his own costume of a Grecian soldier, bouncing out to where Aelin waited. But not too much, lest the skirt fly up and he not-quite flash them. They managed to rope Vaughan in to play Hector, with far less convincing than it took Lorcan.</p><p>Finally, Lorcan stomped out, tugging at the skirt of his costume. Aelin snickered, shutting up when Rowan elbowed her. Rowan’s mouth dried as he stared for a few seconds too long, swallowing hard. His roommate’s terracotta skin contrasted beautifully with the golden breastplate, even if it was stretched a bit tight across his chest. His long black hair was plaited down his spine, a matching golden helmet on his head.</p><p>“Somebody’s got a crush,” Aelin whispered in a sing-song voice, only so Rowan could hear. He hissed at her to shut up, seeing the feral grin on her face.</p><p>“Can we hurry up?” Lorcan grumbled. “I feel like my whole ass is out.” Dorian piped up with a grin, “It’s a nice ass!” Lorcan flipped him off, crossing his arms across his chest and glaring at Rowan. “Well, Whitethorn?”</p><p>It took two practice runs and then three tries to film it. Rowan loved it. He played Patroclus, Lorcan as Achilles and Vaughan as Hector. Vaughan pretended to stab Rowan in the stomach with a spear, the latter dying dramatically and having to stifle his giggling. Somehow, Lorcan put on a very convincing performance as Achilles mourning the death of Patroclus and then killing Hector and dragging his body around behind a chariot. He wasn’t stupid, but Rowan wasn’t going to tell him outright the two were lovers. Then there would’ve been absolutely no chance that Lorcan would have agreed.</p><p>He sent the edited video to Professor Farys, tapping his fingers on his laptop nervously. A reply came a few hours later and he cheered, slapping a hand over his mouth when Lorcan glared from his bed.</p><p>
  <em>Excellent job, Rowan. I loved it, every second. For the effort you and Aelin both clearly put into it, I’m giving you both seven points instead of five.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>PS do tell your boyfriend he should really consider a career in theater</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. the moonbeams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i have nothing to say other than we’re gettin’ there but like… the ending</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Fenrys and Connall Moonbeam walked into the locker room the first day of practice Lorcan’s sophomore year, he knew everything was going to change. Connall was a goalie and the team had secretly looked up his stats when Coach was looking to recruit them. Holy gods the kid was good. Better than some pros. Fenrys, on the other hand, was a party boy who could skate circles around the other team and make flawless shots that tripped up everyone but his twin. Lorcan liked Connall, but not his golden twin.</p><p>That one just got on his nerves.</p><p>They circled each other like wolves, daring the other to snap their leash and attack first. Lorcan was civil on the ice, but that was it.</p><p>Having just showered and changed into a pair of sweats, Lorcan opened his laptop and settled into his bed. He didn’t even mind that he and Whitethorn were roommates for the second year in a row. To be honest, he was thankful he didn’t have to go through the whole new get-to-know-each-other with another guy.</p><p>Said silver-haired roommate was out right now. Where, Lorcan had no idea. He didn’t really care.</p><p>So when somethingーmore like some<em>one</em>ーslammed into the door before it swung open, Lorcan was already annoyed. Everything stopped in its tracks when he saw who Rowan Whitethorn had his tongue down the throat of. Fenrys fucking Moonbeam. They didn’t seem to notice Lorcan until he cleared his throat. Loudly.</p><p>Rowan jumped backwards, tripping over a pair of his shoes he left out and falling flat on his ass. He swore. A look of disgust crossed Fenrys’s face when he met Lorcan’s glare.</p><p>“Go fuck in his room,” Lorcan growled. He didn’t have the energy for this shit tonight.</p><p>“Fuck you, Salvaterre,” Fenrys snapped.</p><p>Rowan groaned audibly from the floor. “Will you two <em>please</em> put your dicks away and be nice to each other? Lorcan, meet my boyfriend. Fenrys, my roommate.” They cried their outrage, trying to be louder than the other until Rowan whacked Fenrys upside the head and threw a book at Lorcan. “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Rowan shouted. His pine-green eyes burned with rage, his cheeks flushed rosy pink. “I don’t care if you hate each other, just be civil. Please. Now, Fen and I will leave because I didn’t think you’d be here. That okay with you, Lorcan?” His voice was softer, calmer now.</p><p>Lorcan nodded. They left, the hollow ache in his chest unbearable. So he texted Elide and told her to buy some cheap whiskey on her way over. She arrived ten minutes later, complaining about how the guard downstairs really didn’t want to let her up. He took the bottle from her and flicked the cap off, drinking until he needed to breathe more than he needed to drown himself in alcohol. The whiskey burned on the way down, but he didn’t care.</p><p>Elide hopped up onto his bed and knelt before him, her palm resting on his knee. Lorcan crossed his long legs, dragging his fingers through his still-damp hair. He avoided her gaze, knowing she would see straight through him.</p><p>“Lor,” she murmured. “What’s wrong? Come on, babe. Talk to me.”</p><p>Lorcan shook his head and kept his mouth shut, taking the bottle from her and drinking deeply again.</p><p>“Lorcan Salvaterre, look at me right this instant.” Her voice was an iron command, one he couldn’t ignore. So he did. Her onyx eyes roved his face, looking for clues.</p><p>A soft gasp. “You’re jealous,” she breathed in disbelief. “Wait, Lorcan, do you like guys too? Or just women?”</p><p>Swallowing thickly, Lorcan toyed with the telephone-cord hair tie on his wrist. “Both,” he mumbled. “I think.”</p><p>Elide throwing herself at him and wrapping her arms around his neck startled him. But then he buried his nose into the crook of her neck and hugged her tight. She felt like home, always had. Right now, with both of them being so far from their homes and families, she was the closest thing he had to home. Lorcan held her close, a weight lifting from his shoulders. They finished the bottle, playing a game of would you rather with celebrities and people from their high school. It was a horrible game, yet Lorcan wouldn’t change a thing about it. He fell asleep with Elide sprawled across his chest, a tipsy smile tugging at his lips.</p><p>Vaughan was the only one he really told, besides Elide. They both encouraged him to test the waters; there was really no harm in finding out what he liked and what he didn’t. So Lorcan gathered what information he could before he acted.</p><p>Most of the team was out of the locker room, leaving just Lorcan, Vaughan, and Connall. Fenrys had left like a shot, smacking a kiss to Rowan’s head just outside the door. Vaughan nodded to Lorcan before he left quietly.</p><p>Suddenly nervous, Lorcan rubbed the back of his neck. Connall looked up at him with a mildly confused look, dark brows furrowing softly. “Did you wannaーshit. I don’t really know how to ask this,” Lorcan fumbled.</p><p>The dark-haired Moonbeam twin stood, tugging Lorcan closer and kissing him. When they pulled back, Connall smiled, dimples flashing. “That what you wanted to ask, Salvaterre?” he chuckled.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lorcan ground out, his voice rough.</p><p>Connall’s laugh was bright. He stepped back to finish stuffing the rest of his gear into his bag, waiting by the door for Lorcan. “That your first time kissing a guy?” he asked.</p><p>“Was it really that obvious?”</p><p>“Nah. Come on, I got a single dorm. Can’t spend every second with Fen or I might murder him in his sleep.”</p><p>With Connall’s lips on his, Lorcan forgot why he had ever been nervous in the first place. The goalie’s hand slid beneath the waistband of Lorcan’s jeans, wrapping around his hardening cock. Then it was his mouth, his lips and teeth and tongue. And Lorcan didn’t know how to stop the sounds that fell from his lips, nor did he actually care enough to try.</p><p>Whitethorn was asleep, blessedly alone, when Lorcan got back. Quickly showering, Lorcan crawled into bed and under his comforter. He plugged his nearly-dead phone in and flopped over onto his stomach, stuffing his face into the pillow. When that didn’t work, he rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. For some reason, no matter how hard he tried, Connall’s face kept getting replaced with a certain silver-haired classics major.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. jealousy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>here we go this is what I wanted to post but you need the other one to understand this one ugh</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Elide tapped her thumbs on the steering wheel, jamming to her music while she waited for Lorcan outside the rink. He jogged out, breath clouding in the frigid Terrasen winter air. Bag slung over his shoulder and sticks in hand, he slid on a patch of black ice and slammed into the side of her car. The gust of cold air was brutal when he opened the trunk and threw his bag in, all but throwing himself into her passenger seat.</p><p>She waited until he had his seatbelt on before driving away. He tried to change the music and she slapped his hand away.</p><p>“So, you know,” Elide drawled, “how was it?”</p><p>Lorcan blew air into his hands and rubbed them together. “How was what, El?”</p><p>“Don’t play dumb. Your dick appointment with Connall.”</p><p>“That was <em>one</em> time. Fucking Hels.”</p><p>“And? How ‘bout Ro and Fenrys?” Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her best friend glowering. “So you <em>are</em> jealous then.”</p><p>“Lochan,” Lorcan growled in warning.</p><p>Pulling into the parking lot of their favorite little restaurant, Elide locked the doors before he could get out and avoid the conversation. “Don’t fucking push me away, Lorcan. I’m not blind. You’ve been miserable since Rowan started dating Fenrys.”</p><p>Lorcan’s reply was an irritated mumble under his breath, but she heard something along the lines of Fenrys and a piece of shit.</p><p>“Why don’t you tell him?” Elide questioned. She knew she was pushing it, but she needed Lorcan to admit to himself that he had fallen for his roommate. And fallen hard.</p><p>“Because he’s got a fucking boyfriend, Elide!” Lorcan shouted, trembling. “And it doesn’t matter if I like him or not because he’s got Fenrys so why the hell would he ever like me back. Praise Hellas, we hated each other last year. It doesn’t matter if every time I close my eyes I see his stupid, perfect face. Rowan doesn’t like me. Not in that way. I don’t even know if he sees us as friends. And I feel fucking pathetic now that I’ve said all that so will you please unlock the godsdamned doors.”</p><p>Elide shook her head, wondering how two boys who are so smart could be so fucking <em>dumb</em>. Anyway, she knew Fenrys and Rowan weren’t working out. One of them was bound to end it soon. Rowan told Aelin and Aelin told her. Simple. That meant the door would be wide open for Lorcan to make his move.</p><hr/><p>Stepping into the room, Rowan shivered. Terrasen winters were cold. He hung his coat in the closet, exchanging his half-frozen jeans for a pair of warm, soft forest green flannel pajama pants. Then he tugged on one of the many hoodies from the drawer, barely even realising that it was one of Lorcan’s. It smelled good and he tugged the collar up over his nose to try and bury himself in it.</p><p>A vibration on his bed told him that Fenrys snapped him. His boyfriend was asking if Rowan wanted to do something today. Rowan lied, saying he had a ton of work to catch up on. He felt sick lying to Fenrys. He wanted more of a relationship than he and Fenrys had. Like the sex was good, but he wanted <em>more</em>.</p><p>The door opened and Lorcan stepped in, stomping the snow off his boots on the thick doormat. Snowflakes dotted his black hair, already melting now that he was inside. His cheeks were ruddy from the cold, nose tinged pink. Rowan thought it was cute.</p><p>“Whitethorn?” Lorcan snapped his fingers in his face. Rowan startled; he must have been zoned out. “You’re wearing my hoodie.” It was a question and a statement rolled into one. Rowan fumbled to try and take it off but Lorcan waved a hand, stopping him halfway. “Nono, keep it. It’s too small for me anyway. I can’t exactly donate it either, says Salvaterre on the back.”</p><p>“Oh. Okay. Thank you.” Rowan pulled the sleeves down over his knuckles and shuffled backward across the floor, never quite turning his back to Lorcan. His broody roommate might change his mind and take it back at any second.</p><p>The guitar Morgana and Isla sent him sat in the corner in its case, just waiting to be used. Rowan sat cross-legged on the floor with it in his lap, the weight comforting. Thankfully he didn’t have to tune it too much. Humming softly, he plucked at the strings.</p><p>Rowan glanced up at Lorcan, finding him just watching quietly. “Do you mind if I play?” he asked shyly. He didn’t usually play when other people were around. It was more of a way to destress. Lorcan shook his head, stretching out on his bed. So Rowan took that as a sign he could play to his heart’s content.</p><p>Strumming the opening chords to “Wonderwall,” Rowan felt the tension in his shoulders loosen and wash away. He closed his eyes, singing softly. This was the song he learned as a child because it was his mother’s favorite. They would sing it together as Rowan learned to play the guitar, never sounding perfect but neither really cared.</p><p></p><blockquote>
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    <p>
      <em>I don’t believe that anybody</em>
    </p>
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</blockquote><blockquote>
  <p></p>
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    <p>
      <em>Feels the way I do, about you now</em>
    </p>
  </div>
</blockquote><p>Rowan poured the jumble of emotion whirling inside him into his voice and how he played, barely hearing the rough whisper of Lorcan Salvaterre singing along.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p></p>
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    <p>
      <em>And all the roads we have to walk are winding</em>
    </p>
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</blockquote><blockquote>
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p>
      <em>And all the lights that lead us there are blinding</em>
    </p>
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</blockquote><blockquote>
  <p></p>
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    <p>
      <em>There are many things that I</em>
    </p>
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</blockquote><blockquote>
  <p></p>
  <div>
    <p>
      <em>Would like to say to you but I don’t know how</em>
    </p>
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</blockquote>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. drop the gloves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i think the title is self-explanatory but also protective! lorcan</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Knocking on the door to Rowan’s dorm, Fenrys waited. They had planned to study in the library later but he kinda wanted coffee beforehand. Otherwise the study session would quickly become naptime.</p><p>A very shirtless Lorcan yanked open the door, hair in a very messy updo that resembled a bun. His eyes narrowed at Fenrys’s surprise arrival.</p><p>Undeterred, Fenrys breezed under Lorcan’s arm. “Hey Ro, what’cha doー” He knew that hoodie. Had one himself, although the number on the sleeve was 37 instead of 28. He knew if Rowan turned around the name on the back would say Salvaterre.</p><p>His boyfriend rubbed his eyes sleepily, half-focused on Fenrys. Fenrys’s gaze darted back and forth between Rowan and Lorcan, trying to puzzle out why his boyfriend would have another guy’s hoodie. Then it dawned on him.</p><p>“What the fuck,” Fenrys breathed. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”</p><p>Rowan cocked his head and frowned, confused. “What is it, Fen?” He sounded genuinely confused, although for all Fenrys knew, that could have been an act.</p><p>“Don’t fucking ‘what is it’ me, Rowan. You know exactly what it is. You’re sleeping with Lorcan!” he shouted. “I’m not blind.”</p><p>“Fenrys, Iー”</p><p>“Save it. We’re done, Rowan. Have fun fucking Salvaterre here.”</p><p>Fenrys trembled with pent-up anger and frustration at himself for not seeing it sooner. The looks Rowan gave his roommate, the way he talked about him. Roommate, his ass. Lover, more like.</p><p>“Get out of my way, Lorcan,” Fenrys snarled. The massive right wing crossed his arms, glaring down at him. Then he stepped out of the way, letting Fenrys storm out.</p><p>Halfway down the sidewalk, Fenrys heard Rowan calling his name. He kept walking. Rowan crashed into him from behind, nearly knocking both of them over. His cheeks were tinged pink from the cold, silver hair messy from sleep. It would have been cute if Rowan Whitethorn wasn’t a lying, cheating bastard.</p><p>“Fenrys,” Rowan panted, breath frosting white in the winter air. “Whatever it looked like, it’s not true. Lorcan said I could have the hoodie, he said it was too small for him and he couldn’t donate it. I didn’t sleep with him. Or anything like that. Please.”</p><p>“But you’ve thought about it.” It wasn’t a question. Rowan’s shoulders sank. And Fenrys knew it was true. “You want to.”</p><p>Fenrys stepped backward, separating himself from Rowan. His boyfriend’s eyes were lined with silver tears. Now ex-boyfriend, Fenrys supposed.</p><p>“Go back to Lorcan, Rowan. We’re done,” Fenrys told him. He kept his voice icier than the city around them, hiding the pain deep inside. Turning on his boot, he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his parka and flipped up the fur-lined hood. He ignored Rowan calling his name, begging him not to leave. Even if it hurt like hell.</p><p>Fuck, he liked Rowan. He knew they weren’t good together because of a thousand different reasons, but it still hurt to walk away.</p><hr/><p>Lorcan grabbed his room key and stuffed his stockinged feet into a pair of slippers, heading down to the main entrance of their dorm. He knew Rowan rushed out after Fenrys without his key or his phone, barely taking the time to throw on his winter boots.</p><p>Tears streamed down Rowan’s cheeks when Lorcan stopped outside to find him. Those pretty green eyes were bloodshot, his face red from both crying and the cold. Rowan sniffled, wiping away his tears before Lorcan could see.</p><p>“Come on, pretty boy. Let’s get out of the cold, yeah?” Lorcan ushered his roommate inside and up to their room on the seventh floor.</p><p>Back inside, Rowan ripped off the hoodie and threw it at Lorcan. Then he rifled through the drawers until he found one of his own and put it on, crawling into bed and yanking the covers up over his head.</p><p>“Did you wanna talk about it?” Lorcan asked quietly, picking at his nails.</p><p>A muffled “fuck off” was Rowan’s only reply. So fuck off he did. Lorcan changed into a pair of warm joggers and an old shirt from his high school hockey team, grabbing his duffel and heading for the campus gym to work out until the urge to throttle Fenrys Moonbeam subsided.</p><p>Practice was shit. The golden shit wouldn’t pass to him, wouldn’t even look at him. Lorcan’s famous temper rose and rose, the one that had gotten him a five-game suspension his sophomore year of high school. Elide told him not to take the bait, made him promise no more fighting. So far, Lorcan kept his promise. Barely. But he kept it when Fenrys was just asking to be punched in the face.</p><p>At least until their end-of-practice scrimmage when they were put on opposite teams. Fenrys slammed Lorcan into the boards so hard they rattled, later on deliberately tripping him before he could pass the puck.</p><p>Lorcan snapped.</p><p>He threw his gloves and stick onto the ice, punching Fenrys in the nose so hard he felt it crack out of place. Fenrys grinned, blood gushing from his nose and down onto his mouthguard, giving him a crimson smile. Then he threw a wicked right hook that just barely missed Lorcan’s jaw.</p><p>Vaughan tried to yank him back, Connall leaving goal to come after his twin. The rest of the team just stared, debating whether or not to get involved.</p><p>“Osprey and Moonbeam, back off. Let them fight it out,” Coach ordered.</p><p>They circled each other, blades cutting through the blood dripping from Fenrys’s nose and leaving red trails on the ice. Fenrys threw taunt after taunt, trying to get Lorcan to make the first move. Nothing worked until he brought Rowan into it. The words were barely out of Fenrys’s mouth before he regretted them. But by then Lorcan was already on him, knocking him to the ice and pinning him down with his legs on either side of his waist. His chest heaved as he stopped his bloodied knuckles a hair away from the golden Moonbeam twin’s face.</p><p>“Never say shit about Rowan again,” Lorcan growled. “If you’ve got a problem with me, say it. Don’t bring him into it.”</p><p>He stood, brushing snow off of his knees. The rasp of skates on ice alerted him before Fenrys threw himself at Lorcan. They fought, Lorcan catching Fenrys in a headlock and holding until he felt the boy tap out on his shinguard. Dropping him unceremoniously, Lorcan picked up his gloves and stick and helmet and skated for the door, slamming it open as he stomped off the ice and headed for the locker room. He knew Fenrys Moonbeam would be wheezing on the ice, unable to stand without help.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. bruises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ye ask, ye shall receive rowan’s reaction to the Fight</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan was tired. His bones ached from sheer exhaustion. It had been a long, long week and he was so, so ready to fall face first into his bed and sleep through the entire weekend. And yet he knew Aelin would drag him out to party because she was a golden whirlwind who he couldn’t help getting caught up in.</p><p>Pushing open the door and dropping his backpack on the floorーalthough not too roughly because of his laptopーRowan barely paid any attention to his roommate. He was on a track straight for his bed, shucking off his jeans and exchanging them for a pair of sweatpants.</p><p>Oh gods it felt amazing to faceplant into the mountains of pillows and blankets, a soft, delighted groan escaping him before he could stop it. Burrowing under the blankets, Rowan pulled them up to his chin. It was time for a nice long nap.</p><p>His stomach rumbled loudly. Rowan blinked blearily, seeing the room was mostly dark now. And it was dark outside, barely any light peeking around the edges of the blinds. Fumbling for his phone, he hissed at the brightness when it lit up. It was only ten-thirty. His stomach grumbled again.</p><p>The door opened quietly, Lorcan padding in on quiet feet. His phone flashlight was on, lighting up the floor and then the desk. Cardboard rustled and the heavenly scent of pizza reached Rowan.</p><p>“Ro? You awake?” Lorcan asked, not waiting long for a reply. Rowan hissed as his roommate flicked the lightswitch to on and he was blinded again. Only this time it was so much worse than his phone screen. “Shit, sorry. You want pizza?”</p><p>Rowan perked up. “Yes, please. I’m starving.” The loud whale-like noise of his stomach only proved his point. He slid out of bed, nudging past his roommate to take two pieces from the box and inhale them in record time. His third was slower, but not by much. On the fourth piece, Rowan flopped down in the chair.</p><p>Lorcan’s eye was swollen shut, dark bruises blossoming on his jaw. The way he gingerly moved to sit down on his bed meant there must have been more under his shirt. If he noticed Rowan staring, he didn’t say anything.</p><p>“Lorcan…” Rowan trailed off, unsure of how to continue. He couldn’t stop seeing those bruises.</p><p>“Don’t worry, pretty boy. It’s nothing I haven’t gotten before,” Lorcan said coolly. It meant end of discussion, don’t keep prying, but there was also a hint of amusement in it.</p><p>“Butー”</p><p>“Drop it.”</p><p>“Is it from hockey?”</p><p>“Whitethorn.”</p><p>“But Lorcan, you’re in pー”</p><p>“Rowan. Just fucking drop it. If I wanted to tell you, I would have.”</p><p>When his roommate tugged off his shirt to change before bed, Rowan stared with his jaw nearly on the ground. Lorcan’s left side was mottled with red and purple bruises. And he wasn’t talking like one or two spots. This was his entire left side, hip to armpit and even spreading onto his back.</p><p>But he left it alone. Red darkened to violet, violet changing to a sickly shade of green, green to yellow and brown. It took a week for the purple to change to yellow. Lorcan was pissed off the entire time.</p><p>Rowan passed Fenrys occasionally, his ex-boyfriend barely even looking at him. He saw the splint on his nose, the busted lip and the bruises on his jaw so similar to Lorcan’s. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, passerby swearing when they ran into him. Rushing back to their dorm, Rowan was going to throttle Lorcan Salvaterre.</p><p>“You got in a fucking fight with Fenrys?” Rowan shouted, startling his dozing roommate. “That’s why you wouldn’t tell me where your bruises came from! What, did you two beat each other to shit over me?” Lorcan had the good sense to look embarrassed, even with the yellowing bruise around his eye. “Yes or no?”</p><p>A noncommittal grunt.</p><p>“Fuck you andーand your territorial <em>bullshit!</em>”</p><p>Rowan stormed over and backhanded Lorcan before his mind caught up with his body. A red welt formed on his cheek in mere moments. When he tried to shove Lorcan backwards with the full force of his hands on his roommate’s chest, Rowan fought as Lorcan caught his wrists and held steady.</p><p>“I won’t say I’m sorry because I’m not. He deserved it,” Lorcan said with a his lips curling up into a half-sneer. But his voice, that was another matter entirely. It was dark and husky and rough with a slight rasp and Rowan was suddenly very, very turned on. As Lorcan shifted to cup Rowan’s face in his hands, their lips too close, Rowan wanted nothing more than to fist his hands in the front of his stupidly-attractive roommate’s shirt and kiss him. Kiss him until they were dizzy and panting. He knew the slight hitch in his breath gave it all away, every single situation he had fantasised about on more than once occasion.</p><p>Then Lorcan leaned closer, the tension between them stretching taut. His lips brushed the shell of Rowan’s ear, softly, faintly, a pathetic whisper of a kiss. Rowan instinctually tipped his head back and exposed his neck, arching his back just the slightest bit. He wanted this. He wanted Lorcan Salvaterre.</p><p>“For you, I would do it all again.”</p><p>His voice was a rough rumble through his chest, warm breath caressing Rowan’s ear. A shiver ran down his spine.</p><p>Then Lorcan stepped away, like nothing had happened. Like the air wasn’t still charged from their almost-kiss. Rowan stood there like a statue, his roommate moving around him until the door closed the lock fell into place with a quiet click. His legs gave way and he collapsed on the floor in a puddle of limbs, brain still playing catch-up.</p><p>The rough darkness that was Lorcan Salvaterre’s voice danced through his memories, the feel of his hands on Rowan’s skin a messy tangle of sheer heaven and damnation. <em>For you, I would do it all again.</em></p><p>Rowan swore, squeezing his eyes shut like the moment would last longer that way. He was in some seriously deep, unending <em>shit.</em> And he didn’t care one bit.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. midnight ride</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>don’t be gettin’ any nasty ideas in your head it’s not what you think it is. i gift you with cuddly rowan. imagine if orynth had tim hortons that’s where they stop just bc</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Rowan was drunk his accent thickened and he called people darling. He was currently playing cards with Aelin and Sam and complaining when she won, again. Lorcan shared a bottle of whiskey with Elide, an arm slung casually around her waist while they sat on the couch. Fenrys laughed loudly at something Dorian said, tilting his head back and nearly spilling the liquid inside the red plastic cup.</p><p>Lorcan still didn’t like Fenrys but they got along a bit better now after Coach forced them to figure out their shit. Only once every other week would he step out onto the ice and eat shit because the little golden shit taped his blades again.</p><p>“Darling,” Rowan slurred, flinging himself onto the couch next to Lorcan and landing so hard Elide choked on her sip of whiskey. “Home. Iwannago <em>home</em>.”</p><p>Taking the drink out of Rowan’s hand, Lorcan sat it on the coffee table littered with rolling papers and half-smoked joints. His silver-haired roommate pouted, sticking out his lower lip and crossing his arms like a petulant child.</p><p>“Get up,” Lorcan ordered. His head was killing him from studying earlier and he just wanted go home and go to bed. Without a fuss.</p><p>“Noooo I don’t wanna walk,” Rowan whined, reaching his hands up.</p><p>Rolling his eyes, Lorcan turned around and shifted into a low squat. Whitethorn stood on the couch, wobbling slightly as he clambered onto Lorcan’s back. He looped his arms around Lorcan’s neck, the latter’s hands gripping Rowan’s thighs to hold him steady. Elide and Aelin snickered, already sharing the plush loveseat and the abandoned bottle of whiskey.</p><p>“Byebye Aelin byebye Elide byebye Fen-rys.” Rowan’s voice was cheery as he waved goodbye. They all replied good-bye and good night, attention captured by whatever filthy drinking game Galathynius suggested. Whitethorn’s nose brushed Lorcan’s neck, warm breath sending chills down his spine. “You smell good, Mister Salvaterre.” He sounded out every syllable of Lorcan’s last name, drawing it out until he ended with a sing-song tone.</p><p>Stopping beside his bike, Lorcan set his drunk roommate down and fished in his pocket for the keys. Successful, they jingled softly between his fingers. He took the charcoal grey helmet and plopped it on Whitethorn’s head, tipping his head up to fasten the buckle underneath his chin. The boy could barely stand straight so Lorcan had to practically lift him and sit him on the bike unless he wanted both to topple over. Slipping his own helmet on, Lorcan straddled his bike and turned it on, feeling the engine purr beneath him.</p><p>Whitethorn’s arms snaked around his waist, holding on tight.</p><p>Lorcan liked it. He liked the feeling of Rowan Whitethorn holding him close. He wanted to know how his lips would taste and whether or not it would be the intoxicating pine-and-snow scent that always surrounded him.</p><p>Shaking his head to clear his distracting thoughts, Lorcan revved the engine and then they were off. Halfway back to their dorm, Rowan tapped Lorcan’s shoulder and told him he wanted donuts.</p><p>So there they were, Whitethorn tucked into his side while they stood inside the coffee shop with fluorescent lights illuminating them. The girl working the shop seemed thrilled to have customers this late, chatting happily with Rowan while he struggled to decide what donut he wanted. Lorcan ordered a Boston cream and a water, paying for their order with cash.</p><p>Rowan sat down on the curb outside the shop, happily eating his donut holes. Sitting down next to him, Lorcan forced Rowan to drink at least half the bottle of water he bought in between shoveling donut holes into his mouth. Their thighs were pressed together, elbows brushing when they moved. Hellas help him, their entire sides were snug against each other and Rowan radiated a delicious warmth in the chilly spring evening.</p><p>By the time they reached their floor back in their dorm, Whitethorn walked like a zombie. Inside their room, he yanked the pillows off of both of their beds and curled up on top of them, huddled under Lorcan’s stolen comforter. On the floor. It only took moments for him to be out cold.</p><p>Lorcan crouched down, bracing one hand on the floor. “Hey, Ro, you can’t sleep on the floor. I want my shit back.”</p><p>“Yes I can,” Rowan mumbled, cracking open one hazy green eye to glare at Lorcan.</p><p>“No, you can’t. Get up.”</p><p>“Fight me bitch.”</p><p>Ah yes. They had passed from extroverted-gay-Rowan to hungry-Rowan to Rowan-has-no-filter-when-he’s-shitfaced-Whitethorn. The last one was almost always combined with sleepy, drunk Rowan.</p><p>Sighing, Lorcan stood to try and make do with one pillow he managed to steal back and just his sheets. He would freeze, most definitely.</p><p>“Lor-can.” Someone was poking him. Lorcan grumbled, rolling over. Only to come face-to-face with his roommate wrapped in his comforter. He swore loudly, his heart pounding. Damn it, that boy nearly gave him a heart attack. “Lor-can,” Rowan whined. “Iss cold. ‘Kai sleep with you?”</p><p>That little shit didn’t even wait for an answer, instead clambering up the ladder and into Lorcan’s already tiny bed. Lorcan was elbowed in the stomach at least three times before his roommate decided he was comfortable. Whitethorn’s head rested on Lorcan’s chest, arm thrown carelessly across him yet holding on tight, knee propped up on top of his shin.</p><p>In the darkness, Lorcan prayed for sleep. The throbbing of his head had barely dulled and it wasn’t exactly like he could get out of bed to take anything for it. Instead, he closed his eyes and focused on the rhythm of his chest rising and falling steadily until the pain was pushed to the background and he fell into a deep slumber.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. skating lessons</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i gift you with soft lorcan. okay to be entirely honest i’m kinda using how my dad taught me how to skate so yea. this doesn’t really fit in with the timeline but fuck that</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What?” Lorcan scoffed. “You don’t know how to skate?”</p><p>Rowan shook his head, confused as to why this was such a big deal. Back home in Wendlyn, ice rinks weren’t that popular. Soccer, rugby and field hockey were more their sports since they were better for the warmer weather and only required fields. Ice hockey was only really big in the north.</p><p>“Get up.” Lorcan was gathering his notebook and pen and computer and shoving it into his backpack. “Come on, Whitethorn. Get up. We’re fixing this crisis today.”</p><p>“Butー”</p><p>“No buts. Ass outta that chair.”</p><p>Sighing heavily, Rowan packed up his book and laptop. He really needed to study for his next Greek oral exam. Reading and writing Greek was so easy, but speaking it was a whole other problem.</p><p>Lorcan dragged him from the little cafe where they had been studying, heading for the campus arena. Rowan protested but his roommate ignored him. All too soon, they stepped foot into the building. Although the warmth was nice compared to the Terrasen winter outside. Elide and Fenrys were waiting, already holding skates of their own. Aelin hurried in a minute later, grinning widely.</p><p>“Buzzard, prepare to lose your skating virginity!” she exclaimed excitedly, bouncing around with so much energy that it made Rowan’s head hurt.</p><p>Their small group headed for the locker rooms, empty since the team had two weeks off from practice. But they still had the timeslot on the ice, used by some of the players if they wanted to practice on their own.</p><p>“Uh, don’t I need skates?” Rowan poked Lorcan’s shoulder, asking quietly. Everyone but him had their own pair. Fenrys, Lorcan and Elide were all lacing up hockey skates. Aelin was the odd one out, lacing up her white figure skates.</p><p>Pulling a box from his locker, Lorcan handed it to Rowan. His smile was wide, dimples flashing. “You think we’re letting you wear those shitty plastic things they rent here?” he chuckled. “Hels no, pretty boy. We got you a pair of skates.”</p><p>The box was heavy with BAUER branded into the top. Inside was a pair of brand-new hockey skates with crisp white laces and blue detailing. The paper crinkled loudly in the tense quiet.</p><p>“Thank you?” Rowan said, unsure of why they felt the need to buy him hockey skates. He would’ve been fine with renting skates.</p><p>“We raided the stーow!” Elide whacked Fenrys upside the head with one of her blade guards, glaring at him to shut his mouth.</p><p>Elide, Fenrys and Aelin all headed for the rink while Lorcan took Rowan to get the skates heatfitted to him. It didn’t take very long. Too little time for Rowan’s liking. Then it came time for him to lace them up, his fingers fumbling so much that Lorcan knelt down to do it for him.</p><p>Rowan stood, wobbling like a newborn fawn as he tried to get used to the fact that he was balancing on two very thin pieces of metal. He tried to take a step, falling forward. Right into the arms of his waiting roommate. His cheeks burned but Lorcan helped him get used to it. Then they were walking down the path to the closed rink door. He was much slower than the hockey player beside him, but his roommate slowed his pace to match Rowan.</p><p>On the ice, Aelin was spinning beautifully. Elide had found a stick and pucks somewhere and was shooting with Fenrys. When they heard the heavy latch of the gate fall, they turned and skated over. They all looked so graceful on the ice, like they belonged there. Rowan knew he was going to look like a complete and utter idiot. There was no doubt about it.</p><p>“Lorcan,” he mumbled. “I don’t wanna do this.”</p><p>The gate was still open, ice glistening. Meeting Rowan’s eye, Aelin shooed the others away and stepped off the ice in front of Rowan. </p><p>“You ready, buzzard?” Aelin asked soothingly, holding out her hand.</p><p>“No,” he told his best friend. But Aelin was already dragging him toward the ice.</p><p>“Galathynius,” Lorcan hissed. “He said he doesn’t wanna do this. Let him go.”</p><p>Something flared to life inside Rowan and he suddenly wanted to prove Lorcan wrong. So he followed Aelin, testing the ice with one foot before holding onto the boards for dear life as he stood on both feet. It wasn’t as bad as he was expecting, but it still took some getting used to. His roommate effortlessly skated past, picking up speed as he hugged the edge of the rink. He shifted to skating backwards flawlessly, still at the same speed. Halfway around, he turned back around and headed straight for Aelin and Rowan. Lorcan’s grin was wicked as he stopped before Aelin with less than an inch to spare, spraying snow up onto her legs.</p><p>“Fuck you,” Aelin spat at Lorcan.</p><p>Lorcan laughed, the sound echoing through the rink. It was deep and lively and made Rowan feel just a little bit better. “No thanks, Galathynius. Not my type.” He winked at Rowan while saying it. The heat in Rowan’s cheeks was burning compared to the ice and cold surrounding him.</p><p>Rowan watched Aelin and Lorcan squabble over how to teach him to skate, trying to copy what they did. It was more of a push and glide then a stepping motion. One was on either side of him, there to catch him if he fell. His smile was shy as he began to skate his way around the rink. It was slow going, he knew. But he was still going. As he got more confident, he began to move a little faster.</p><p>Now Rowan understood why they dragged him to do this. It felt like flying, to some extent. He glided across the ice without a care in the world.</p><p>Aelin peeled off, sensing that she wasn’t needed anymore. She began to practice some of her old figure skating moves on center ice, graceful like a dancer.</p><p>Lorcan skated just in front of Rowan, holding out his hands. Rowan took them, unsure of what was going to happen. Then his roommate began to skate backwards, pulling him along. It was strange, just letting Lorcan pull him around the rink. He didn’t move his feet to try and skate on his own, fearing he would lose his balance at the speed they were going.</p><p>“I’ll catch you,” Lorcan said, his tone soft and reassuring as if he read Rowan’s mind. “I’m gonna let you go in three and you’re gonna skate for me. Ready?” Rowan nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. “Three, two, one.”</p><p>He let go.</p><p>Rowan used the momentum from his roommate to glide towards him, swearing under his breath when Lorcan skated just out of his reach. He was slowing to a stop. Holding his arms out for balance, he pushed off the inside of his left skate and glided for a moment before he pushed again, this time with the other foot. He was almost there, a smile on his face.</p><p>Then he lost his balance and his arms pinwheeled, trying to keep himself upright. It was all in vain. His tailbone stung with the force of the impact on the ice.</p><p>“Ow,” Rowan groaned.</p><p>His roommate helped him to his feet, letting Rowan hold on to him for dear life. Rowan wasn’t quite ready to try again on his own. So he let Lorcan skate him to where Elide stood proudly over a massive pile of pucks and clung to her while Lorcan and Fenrys showed him what true prowess on the ice looked like. Compared to them, he was a bumbling fool.</p><p>After an hour and falling more times than he could count, Rowan was ready to walk on land again. On his own two feet, not two tiny blades. His hip ached from where he had fallen particularly hard on it; he had a feeling that it would bruise. Getting off the ice was almost harder than getting on, except for the fact that this time Lorcan was helping him off.</p><p>Fenrys, Aelin, and Elide went off in search of hot cocoa, taking their skates off in record time. Aelin shot Rowan a suggestive look as the door closed on her, leaving just Rowan and Lorcan. Said roommate was unlacing his skates and pulling them off with practiced ease. Rowan struggled for a minute but then got the hang of loosening the waxed laces enough that he could tug the skates off.</p><p>“So, whaddya think?” Lorcan asked, wiping down the blades of his skates and covering them with the fabric bladeguards. His lips twitched into a crooked half-smile.</p><p>“Um,” Rowan thought about it for a second. “I like it. But I think it’s better left to you and the others.”</p><p>Suddenly Lorcan sat next to him, knocking his knee into Rowan’s. “I know you probably won’t believe this but we all started out same as you, just a little younger. Okay, fine. A lot younger. But I can guarantee you there are videos my mom filmed where all I do is fall and get back up again. You gotta get back up every time. Got it, pretty boy?”</p><p>Rowan nodded.</p><p>He nearly jumped as Lorcan patted his thigh, standing to grab his winter coat and hat. Standing, he wobbled and reached for the nearest thing to hold onto. Which happened to be Lorcan.</p><p>“Whoa there, Whitethorn,” Lorcan chuckled. “Let’s get those land legs back, yeah?” He slung his arm around Rowan’s waist, holding him steady as they walked out of the locker room. His voice was a soft murmur in Rowan’s ear, sending a chill racing down his spine. But a good one. “Happy birthday, Rowan.”</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. spring break</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the moment y’all have been waiting for :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The airport was bustling, full of students heading to whatever exotic destination they chose for their spring break. Most would go to the Southern Continent for the warmth and the beaches. And the parties.</p><p>But Rowan couldn’t wait to see his mom and his cousins, as annoying as they were. The last time he had seen them was over the winter holidays. It was too long.</p><p>Outside the massive wall of windows, rain pelted the tarmac. Those working for the airlines wore massive neon yellow or orange rain jackets. The rain drenched them anyway. Rowan fiddled with his boarding pass and passport, hating the waiting. His flight was supposed to leave in less than an hour. Then four hours later he would be home.</p><p>Or at least he thought.</p><p>“All flights for the rest of the day are canceled due to inclement weather,” a woman announced over the airport loudspeaker. “Please speak to those manning your flight desk about overnight accommodation.”</p><p>Rowan groaned. He stood, unhappily shrugging on his backpack and dragging his suitcase behind him as he headed for the tram to take him back to the main terminal. There, it was a mess of people. A complete and utter mess. Slipping through the throngs of angry travelers, Rowan caught the bus heading back to campus just before the doors shut.</p><p>It was fairly crowded, full of pissed off students having to make other plans for the night or their entire spring break.</p><p>Rowan shoved open the door to his dorm, soaked to the bone and feeling like a drowned rat. Lorcan was just finishing packing his duffel when he entered. His roommate glanced up, frowning in confusion at Rowan and then checking the time on his phone.</p><p>“Hey, don’t you have a flight to catch?” Lorcan asked, genuinely confused.</p><p>“Canceled due to the weather,” Rowan huffed, dropping his bags on the floor. “I don’t know how to get home now. I looked at the radar on the bus and the hurricane off the coast is moving inland. We’re just catching the edges of it. So I don’t think I’ll be flying home anytime soon.”</p><p>“Come with me.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“My sisters will be here soon. You can spend the break with us. I know it’s not the same as getting to see your family, but you can’t spend spring break here on campus.”</p><p>Rowan wanted to, he couldn’t lie. But he also didn’t want to intrude.</p><p>Then Lorcan’s phone rang. Two female voices shouted that they were here. They yelled at him to hurry his ass up, they wanted to go home. With a laugh, Lorcan told them Rowan was coming with them. Their reply was cut off mid-shriek.</p><p>Rowan found himself being dragged down to the lobby, seeing a mud-stained and beat-up SUV idling outside with a trailer attached to the back. His bags were taken from him and shoved in the trunk then he was sitting in the backseat while Lorcan and Isa rolled his bike up the ramp into the trailer. A very soaked and mildly irritated Lorcan collapsed into the seat next to Rowan, wringing out his hair with a towel his other sister, Fern, handed him.</p><p>Isa slammed the passenger side door, rocking the car as she did so. She turned back to Rowan with warm smile. “Hey Ro, I’m Isa. Asshat,” she smirked, greeting her older brother. “<em>Nimaamaa</em>’s** excited to meet you.” She could be Lorcan’s twin, if he had one. All except for the beaming, friendly smile; Lorcan was more prone to scowling than smiling.</p><p>Rowan smiled, unsure of how to answer her. The three Salvaterre siblings bickered the entire drive, insulting the others in their native language. It took just over eight hours to get there. And that wasn’t counting the snack breaks and times they had to stop because someone had to use the bathroom. He managed to sleep for a bit, falling asleep with his cheek propped up on his fist as he watched the scenery blur by outside the window.</p><p>Tires rumbled over gravel, a dog barking somewhere outside and a woman’s voice saying something in a language he didn’t understand a single word of. It sounded beautiful, rolling off her tongue like the way a river flows over rocks in a stream.</p><p>The sun shone bright compared to the dreary rain of Orynth, flowers blooming in wild arrangements, untamed by the Salvaterre family. The sky was a cloudless brilliant blue no amount of mixing paints could create.</p><p>“Come on, children,” Lorcan’s mother chided, “there’s a storm coming. Your <em>nookomis</em> can feel it. And you know how she gets when her knee starts to ache. You too, mister Whitethorn. You’re a guest here.” She took the suitcase out of Rowan’s hand, shooing him towards where Lorcan was playing with a border collie. One who was very excited to see him. </p><p>Later that evening, Rowan called his own mother. She picked up on the third ring, her face lighting up his screen. It was a good thing he went with Lorcan, she said. The storm was so severe all flights in Terrasen were canceled until it passed. That would probably take a few days, at the very least. His twin cousins were sad they wouldn’t get to see him until summer but they teased Rowan about his crush on his dark-haired roommate. Before they could start telling him to just kiss Salvaterre already, Rowan hung up on them.</p><p>“Rowan!” Isa shouted. “Rowan Whitethorn! Dinner!”</p><p>It was a simple stew that chased away the lingering traces of the storm, warm and flavourful and so utterly <em>home</em> that Rowan wanted to groan in perfection. Dessert was a simple strawberry-basil cake made from scratch with strawberries picked by Fern and basil from their garden.</p><p>Rowan helped them clean up, even at their protests that he was a guest. But he still shoved Lorcan’s younger sisters out of the way, washing the dishes and drying them with a towel. Lorcan’s mother came in shortly afterward, bustling around with an old metal teakettle and lighting the stove with a lighter.</p><p>“Thank you for letting me come, Mrs. Salvaterre,” Rowan said, wringing his hands and the towel. “I don’t mean to intrude.”</p><p>The woman set the kettle down, wiping her hands on the front of the apron she wore. Then she pulled Rowan in for a hug he was very much not expecting. “Call me Mrs. Salvaterre again and I’ll make you sow the fields by hand,” she whispered in his ear, a threat. Rowan nodded solemnly. She laughed. “So serious. Just call me Namid. Address my <em>nimaamaa</em> as Ma Okwi. And honey, you could never intrude. You’re always welcome here. Even more so as a friend of my son’s.” She winked and Rowan’s cheeks burned.</p><p>He fled the kitchen, running right into Lorcan’s chest. His roommate’s chuckle was light, a blanket in his arms. Isa shouldered past them with an axe and a wicked grin. Fern slipped into the kitchen quietly, returning with an armful of baked goods.</p><p>“Come on, pretty boy,” Lorcan murmured in Rowan’s ear, a delicious chill racing down his spine.</p><p>Outside, the Salvaterre siblings led him to a warmly-lit stable. Isa and Fern saddled a chestnut brown mare with practiced ease, sharing the saddle. Lorcan straddled his own bike, gesturing to Rowan to get on and hold on. Tight. He did, wrapping his arms around Lorcan’s waist. With a click of a tongue, they were off. The horse cantered down a path in the plants, Lorcan’s bike on its heels. They raced on a wide flat stretch, the engine purring beneath Rowan and the horse’s breath steaming in the chilled evening air.</p><p>They came to a lake glittering in the starlight. Rowan’s legs were wobbly but he stood, tilting his head back. Gods, there were so many stars. They were absolutely breathtaking. He named constellations in his head, wishing he could show Morgana this. She was fascinated by the night sky.</p><p>“Whitethorn, stop gawking and start stripping,” Isa grinned, throwing her jacket at him. It hit Rowan in the face and he startled.</p><p>“You want me to what?” Rowan asked, suddenly very self-conscious.</p><p>“We’re going skinny dipping, pretty boy.” Lorcan’s deep, husky voice came from behind Rowan and he jumped. His dark chuckle was a sound of pure torture. Rowan hugged his hoodie closer.</p><p>The two Salvaterre sisters were already half-naked, their clothes piled on the grassy shore. In nothing but sports bras and panties, they waded in up to their necks. Lorcan toed off his boots, reaching for the button of his jeans. Rowan shyly followed suit, stripping down to his boxers. He gingerly tested the water with his toe, screaming when Lorcan threw him over his shoulder and jumped off the dock.</p><p>When it got too cold to swim anymore, they wrapped themselves in thickly woven blankets, sharing thermoses of hot cocoa. Lorcan and Fern built a small fire in a ring of stones Rowan didn’t even notice, whipping out marshmallows and chocolate and graham crackers from a bag. Isa unearthed a mason jar full of clear liquid, much to her older brother’s dismay. They played never have I ever and truth or dare until Rowan was giggling so hard his stomach ached.</p><p>Fern was the first to pass out, asleep wrapped in a blanket with her head pillowed on her arm. Her sister followed shortly, wishing the two a very good night.</p><p>Then it was just Lorcan and Rowan. Not truly alone, but alone.</p><p>“Whitethorn …” Lorcan trailed off, his onyx eyes darker than the deepest starless skies in the faint glowing embers of the fire.</p><p>Rowan steadied himself with a palm flat against Lorcan’s chest, barely noticing the faint stutter of his heartbeat before it began to race under his touch. He dragged his thumb across his roommate’s lower lip, wiping away the smear of chocolate. Then he popped it into his mouth, sucking until the chocolate was gone.</p><p>The ‘Hellas help me’ was barely audible.</p><p>Suddenly Lorcan’s fist was in Rowan’s hoodie, his other hand cupping the sharp line of his jaw. Rowan braced himself with his hands on Lorcan’s warm thighs, feeling the muscle twitch underneath his fingers. In the starlight, he saw Lorcan’s tongue flick out to wet his lips.</p><p>The kiss was gentle, a simple press of his lips against Rowan’s.</p><p>Lorcan leaned his forehead on Rowan’s, both of their chests heaving. Pulling back, he watched until Rowan smiled. His answering smile was brighter than all the stars in the sky as he kissed him again.</p><p>He smelled of cedar and woodsmoke and sage. Tasted like rain and moonshine and chocolate. Rowan couldn’t get enough, kissing him until he was breathless and dizzy. His hair was bolts of silky darkness, tugged free from its messy bun and falling around his shoulders. Lorcan’s hands were warm and rough and all too perfect slipping under the hem of Rowan’s hoodie to grip his waist.</p><p>They found themselves on the ground, legs tangled in a mess of blankets with Lorcan hovering over Rowan’s body. The hardness against his thigh spoke lengths where they couldn’t, wouldn’t. His lips were swollen from kisses rough with moonshine and desire.</p><p>Rowan pressed his palm to Lorcan’s lips, the last bit of common sense in his brain flaring bright. They were drunk. He wanted to remember. He told Lorcan as much. There was no sting of rejection in his roommate’s features. Instead, he agreed.</p><p>This time, the kiss was slow. Sweet. Gentle.</p><p>Silver and darkness became one, entangled like stars and the sky and just as dreamless. Their kisses were left in the realm of dreams, never spoken of because neither knew they weren’t just fantasies of intoxicated minds.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>** Lorcan’s family/names based off Ojibwe tribe</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. waves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>blame isa for this idea she's the one who came up with it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan knew he shouldn’t. He had only left campus five days ago. It was pathetic.</p><p>He missed Lorcan fucking Salvaterre.</p><p>And yet, as he lay in bed on his back, he wished he was back. Flopping over and tangling his legs in the sheets, Rowan grabbed his phone off the nightstand. He squinted at the brightness before turning it down. Then he opened Instagram.</p><p>The wifi was being icky and didn’t want to load. By the time he disconnected and then reconnected so it would function properly, the app didn’t automatically refresh his feed, it just popped up saying ‘New Posts.’</p><p>Sighing irritatedly, he refreshed. Elide’s profile picture popped up on his stories, surrounded by a pink circle. After hers was Aelin’s. He watched Elide’s first, frowning at the darkness before the audio and video came through. It was quiet, so he turned it up.</p><p>Elide was trying to take a cute video of herself at the beach, when Lorcan interrupted it by dumping a bucket of water over her head. She screamed and the last thing Rowan heard was <em>oh Lorcan Salvaterre you are dead!</em> before her story cut out. He smiled to himself in the darkness.</p><p>Aelin’s story was a boomerang of her, Lysandra and her cousin throwing back shots on their pool deck.</p><p>Rowan wished his summer was more exciting, like theirs. Instead he was laying in bed in his childhood bedroom pining over his roommate.</p><p>Pathetic, he knew.</p><p>Scrolling down with a heavy dejected sigh, Rowan choked on the air he was currently breathing. Lorcan was flipping the camera off standing in the waves, his swim trunks hanging low on his hips. Eyes narrowed, he glared at whoever took the photo, probably Elide. His terra cotta skin gleamed in the sun, dark hair pulled up into a messy bun. It was a series of photos, so Rowan swiped. Waves crashed in the background, the camera trained on the sand. Then it focused on Lorcan napping on a towel, his arm thrown carelessly across his eyes. Even asleep, he was still unfairly attractive. Elide giggled in the background. Swiping again, he stopped dead.</p><p>Lorcan Salvaterre wore a crop top, clearly a concert tee someone took a pair of scissors to. Arms crossed across his chest, he decidedly ignored the photographer.</p><p>That was the last photo. Rowan double-tapped his roommate’s post. He debated on commenting, but decided against it for now.</p><p>The next post was from Elide, a candid shot of her laughing while Lorcan stood next to her rolling his eyes. In the crop top. It was captioned ‘love you’ with a black heart. Lorcan’s comment was directly underneath, a simple but stately fuck you.</p><p>Rowan continued to scroll through his feed for another few minutes, seeing Fenrys cliff jump into a lake far below him and Vaughan smiling, standing next his plane. Manon and her cousin Asterin held airsoft guns, grinning wickedly. Yrene was beaming, arms around two little kids with bandaids on their arms.</p><p>Everyone was out doing something with their lives over their summer break. Except for Rowan.</p><p>Turning his phone off, he angrily flipped onto his side and stared into the darkness until he fell asleep.</p><p>☩ ☩ ☩</p><p>Every time that Lorcan’s phone buzzed with a notification that someone liked his post, he went straight to the username. And every time it wasn’t Rowan, he deflated.</p><p>Elide whacked him over the head with her paperback. “Get it together, dummy. Tell him you’re in love with him. Either that or put your godsdamned phone down,” she ordered, pushing her sunglasses up from where they were falling off her head.</p><p>Lorcan obeyed, albeit unhappily. His phone kept buzzing beside him but he ignored it. Standing, he dropped his shirt and sunglasses on the towel next to Elide. Grabbing the mask, snorkel, and fins, he headed for the water. Once he was in the water, it would calm him. He hoped.</p><p>The sparkling blue water was soothing, once his head was underwater.</p><p>By the time he returned soaking wet to his best friend, she sipped on a piña colada from her metal straw. Lorcan dried off, letting the sun do the rest as he checked his phone. There it was.</p><p>
  <em>r.whitethorn liked your post</em>
</p><p>“Well?” Elide drawled, “Did your thirst trap work?”</p><p>Lorcan shrugged noncommittally, biting his lip to hide a smile.</p><p>“Oh Anneith save me from love-sick stupid boys,” she muttered under her breath.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. questions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ummm... i shall just leave this one here and yeah</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lorcan napped, his arms around his pup. The sun bled across the horizon, staining it shades of apricot and rose and lilac. Downstairs, his grandmother stirred a hearty summer stew. </p><p>He dreamt.</p><p>Rowan’s fingers tangled with his, his deliciously sun-kissed skin flushed with color. The sighs and moans and whimpers of Lorcan’s name made him slow, kissing Rowan sweetly. A trail of his lips down the whorls of ink adoring Rowan’s skin. Murmured confessions and shy smiles.</p><p>Blinking at the fading beams of sunlight, Lorcan wanted to cry. His dream began to slip from his fingersーthe tighter he held the faster it slipped. Wind yawned and kicked Lorcan in the stomach as he did his doggy stretch, standing and shaking himself. Then he hopped off the bed and trotted to the door, sitting and whining until Lorcan dragged himself out of bed to open it. Wind vanished like his namesake, and from downstairs he could hear his grandmother chastising the dog for stealing food from the table.</p><p>Lorcan glanced down, swearing low. He headed for the bathroom, checking the hall first to make sure his mother and sisters weren’t there. Sighing once the door was shut, he threw his clothes in the hamper and turned on the water. Steam filled the shower as he stepped in, hissing at the heat.</p><p>Rowan Whitethorn filled his mind, memories of how his breath caught and how he nibbled on his lip as he read pushing their way to the surface.</p><p>He was so close when someone pounded on the bathroom door.</p><p>“Lorcan, are you done yet?” Fern cried. “I have to pee!”</p><p>“Two minutes!” he shouted over the water, trying to keep his voice steady. He heard his sister cursing outside the door.</p><p>It was quick and messy, offering guilt instead of relief and satisfaction. When he opened the door with a towel wrapped around his waist, Fern shoved past him and slammed the door with a glare. Lorcan trudged back to his own bedroom, mechanically dressing in clean clothes and heading downstairs to sit at the table.</p><p>Ma Okwi handed him a knife, gesturing to the vegetables on the table. Lorcan chopped them, his mind elsewhere. A whack upside the head with the wooden spoon quickly snapped him out of his reverie.</p><p><em>Are you trying to cut your finger off?</em> his grandmother chastised. <em>Stupid boy. Pay attention to what you’re doing.</em></p><p><em>Sorry, grandma</em>, Lorcan apologised.</p><p><em>You were thinking about Rowan, weren’t you? I like him. You two are good together.</em> Lorcan hissed as the knife in his hand slipped and sliced open the pad of his thumb. <em>Give me your hand. Lorcan Salvaterre, hand. How did this happen? You know how to slice vegetables.</em></p><p>
  <em>You know exactly what happened. You caused it!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t get an attitude with me, boy.</em>
</p><p>Lorcan hung his head in shame, resting his bloodied hand on the table as his grandmother bustled around, grabbing a salve off the shelf. It stung as she rubbed it into the cut, his thumb throbbing as she wrapped the bandage around it and tied it off.</p><p>Then she sat down on the adjacent side, holding his hand in both of hers. Her hands were smooth and cool, calloused from years of hard work.</p><p>“Lorcan, look at me. Please.” The English surprised him and he looked up. Ma Okwi always preferred their native language. Her smile was soft and warm, reminding him of his childhood when thunderstorms scared him and she took him into her arms, telling him the stories her grandmother passed down to her. <em>You like this boy a lot, don’t you?</em></p><p>Chewing the inside of his cheek, Lorcan nodded.</p><p>
  <em>Do you love him?</em>
</p><p>He was taken aback by the question, about to voice his denial, but when he thought about it, he did. He was in love with Rowan Whitethorn.</p><p>Lorcan nodded again, staring at the wood grain of the table.</p><p>
  <em>Tell him, Lorcan. Tell him how you feel, sooner rather than later.</em>
</p><p>After dinner, he returned to his room. The screen brightened with a text from Whitethorn: <em>hey you wanna rent an apartment together this semester? ;)</em></p><p>Seconds later, the typing bubbles popped up. The joy fluttering in Lorcan’s chest snuffed out.</p><p>
  <em>sorry the twins stole my phone just ignore that</em>
</p><p><b>k</b>, Lorcan typed, about to press send when a new text appeared.</p><p>
  <em>i mean if you really aren’t opposed to the idea we can look into it (this is actually Rowan this time) just let me know</em>
</p><p>This time, his heart soared, threatening to flap its wings so hard it would tear from his chest. Lorcan couldn’t get rid of the giddy smile that made his cheeks hurt.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. needed me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>now it's lorcan's turn ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aelin’s visit was a surprise, but a good one nonetheless.</p><p>An hour ago he had been sitting in a chair with his eyes closed, letting Aelin work her magic. Now he felt like he could rule the world. Maybe he would have to incorporate silver eyeliner into his everyday look.</p><p>His mum had unearthed the old disco ball from a box in the attic, handing it to Rowan before she left with a promise they wouldn’t burn the house down. It spun on the coffee table, the room whirling with a thousand colors.</p><p>Morgana giggled on the couch, hugging a pillow as Aelin dragged Rowan off the chair and handed him the makeshift microphone. Said microphone happened to be an empty ginger ale bottle. Sofia turned the music up, tapping her fingers to the beat.</p><p>“Sing!” Aelin ordered, stumbling off the elevated fireplace to collapse into a chair in a fit of barely stifled giggles.</p><p>Rowan stuck his tongue out at his best friend, a silent promise that he would get revenge.</p><p>He let himself sink into what Aelin called his inner bad bitch as the synth echoed around him. The alcohol swirling in his blood made the combination of the two a heady concoction.</p><p>
  <em>I was good on my own, that’s the way it was</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was the way it was</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You was good on the low for a faded fuck</em>
</p><p>
  <em>On some faded love</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shit, what the fuck you complaining for?</em>
</p><p>Aelin held her phone up, no doubt recording him. So Rowan made sure to give her a show.</p><p>
  <em>But baby</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Don’t get it twisted</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You was just another ー on the hit list</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tryna fix your inner issues with a bad bitch</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Didn’t they tell you that I was a savage</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Fuck your white horse and carriage</em>
</p><p>His best friend bit on her fist to keep from laughing, recording the entire thing. The video would be shaky, he knew. But in the moment, he could care less.</p><p>It was fun. And that’s all that mattered.</p><p>Summer was ending. Classes would be starting in under a month. He and Lorcan would be renting an apartment. Together.</p><p>That thought quickly flew out the window when Aelin pushed him back, shrieking that it’s a good thing he’s gay because damn, that was hot. He laughed, taking her hand and dragging her up onto the stone fireplace to sing <em>It’s Raining Men</em> because they both knew all the words to it.</p><p>Much later that night they sat hip-to-hip, Rowan leaning his head on Aelin’s shoulder. She pulled out her phone, watching the video of him singing <em>Needed Me.</em> “Can I post it?” she whispered.</p><p>Rowan thought about it. “Uh nuh.”</p><p>“C’mon Ro pleeeeease,” Aelin begged. He shook his head. “Imma do it anyway.”</p><p>“No you aren’t.”</p><p>“Watch me!”</p><p>Her finger closed on the post button when Rowan tackled her. They fought for it, playing dirty until it skittered across the floor. They both watched in horror as her feed refreshed at 4:38 in the morning with the video she took.</p><p>“Fuck,” they swore in unison.</p><p>“I am going to murder you, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius,” Rowan promised.</p><p>Aelin flashed him a peace sign and a smile that was more of a grimace. “I deserve it.”</p><p>“You most definitely do.”</p><p>
  <b>☩ ☩ ☩</b>
</p><p>Lorcan had been dead asleep when something vibrating obnoxiously rudely awoke him. He answered his phone without even looking at the caller.</p><p>“The fuck you want?” he grumbled, voice rough and more of a rasp. Elide was talking a thousand miles a minute and his sleep-addled brain couldn’t keep up. “Slow down, Lochan. It’s fucking three in the morning.”</p><p>
  <em>And it’s only almost midnight here. Old man.</em>
</p><p>“Fuck you. Get to the point. I wanna go back to sleep.”</p><p>A heavy, exasperated sigh. Lorcan would bet wherever Elide was, she was pressing on her temples. <em>Well you’ll be awake shortly. Just check your snap, specifically Aelin’s story. You can thank me later. Night, Lor love you!</em></p><p>Cursing Elide, Lorcan followed her instructions. He rolled onto his side, hearing a whine from the end of the bed where he couldn’t move his feet. Wind was passed out, stretched across Lorcan’s lower shins and ankles. He resigned himself to laying uncomfortably, his torso rolled to the side while his lower legs stayed in the position if he had been on his stomach still.</p><p>“Elide Lochan, if you woke me up for some dumb shit I will fucking kill you,” Lorcan swore, tapping on Aelin’s icon. Which he so aptly renamed from Aelin Galathynius to <em>firebreathing bitch</em> shortly after they first met.</p><p>He wasn’t expecting much.</p><p>So when he saw Rowan rutting Whitethorn with sharply winged silver eyeliner to match his hair, Lorcan’s brain short-circuited. And when he finally registered the music playing in the background watching the video for the second time, he could do nothing but stare.</p><p>There was something so ridiculously attractive about how confident his roommate was. Whitethorn was enjoying himself immensely. You would have to be blind to miss it.</p><p>“Hellas help me,” Lorcan muttered, slamming his phone back down on his nightstand. But even as he stuffed his face into his pillow and squeezed his eyes shut, all he could see was the silver-haired boy singing and his smile, more intoxicating than any drug.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. keys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>move in day........ part deux</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emrys twisted the key in the lock, the door swinging open. The man stepped aside, gesturing for Lorcan and Rowan to enter. Lorcan walked in first, sure that they had made the right choice of apartments. There was plenty of room and plenty of sunlight.</p><p>“Thank you so much!” Rowan thanked their now-landlord, keys jingling as they passed hands.</p><p>Then the door clicked shut and Rowan brushed past Lorcan, kicking his shoes off and collapsing on the hardwood floor, lying like a starfish with a stupid smile.</p><p>“You look dumb as shit, Whitethorn,” Lorcan drawled.</p><p>Rowan snorted, “Get down here.” With no choice other than to join his roommate, Lorcan lay down on the floor, crossing his ankles and folding his hands beneath his head. “I’m gonna put glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling and if you don’t like it, you can eat shit and die.”</p><p>Lorcan rolled his eyes, lips twitching into a smile. “You and your stars.”</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>“No, you shut up.”</p><p>“I hate you.”</p><p>“No you don’t.”</p><p>“Yes, I really do.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, but we both know that’s a lie.”</p><p>“Go fuck yourself, Lorcan Salvaterre.”</p><p>“Eh, I have and it’s only mediocre.” Rowan whacked him upside the head. “Ow! You little shit! Rowan Whitethorn, I swear to Hellasー”</p><p>Rowan’s phone rang and he shushed Lorcan before picking it up. He talked to his cousin, flipping Lorcan off when he drew his pointer finger across his throat then pointed to Rowan.</p><p>Before they were allowed to move any of the furniture in, Ma Okwi insisted on cleansing the whole apartment with white sage. Then she barked orders at Lorcan, his sisters, Rowan, and everyone else who helped them move in. It was a grueling process, carrying everything up two flights of stairs and maneuvering the couch around corners.</p><p>Lorcan and Vaughan built his bed from the Ikea kit, figuring it out quickly. Then on went the mattress, Isa and Fern waiting until seconds after Lorcan finished making the bed before leaping onto it. He fell back between his sisters, the three of them entangling like they used to as children.</p><p>“So, Lorlor, when are you and your boyfriend gonna kiss?” Isa asked. He could hear the smile in her voice.</p><p>Lorcan swatted his baby sister, knowing if she squealed he would get lectured on ‘don’t antagonise your sisters’ by his mother and grandmother. “That is none of your business, you snake. And for the record, Rowan’s not my boyfriend.”</p><p>Isa huffed an annoyed breath, while Fern just snorted. “You are no fun, <em>nisayenh*. Grandma! Lorcan’s being mean!</em>” Isa cried in their native language, shrieking when he clamped his hand over her mouth. He quickly withdrew his hand in disgust when she licked it.</p><p>Their grandmother appeared in the doorway, frowning at the three siblings. <em>What are you three troublemakers up to now?</em> she asked.</p><p><em>Lorcan’s being mean!</em> Isa whined.</p><p><em>Isa’s being a brat!</em> Lorcan cried in outrage. She always got away with it and he got punished, even when she was outright lying.</p><p>They both earned a whack upside the head, looking anywhere but at each other or their grandmother. Spirits help me, the old woman muttered, striding out only to return a few moments later with a dreamcatcher. She handed it to Lorcan, making sure he hung it above his bed before huffing in annoyed satisfaction. Then she wandered off to go mother-hen someone else who wasn’t doing something properly.</p><p>When Rowan stood in Lorcan’s doorway a while later, his sisters vanished. He watched his roommate’s pine-green eyes flick over the room, finally landing on Lorcan. “I like it,” Rowan smiled warmly. “You wanna come see mine?”</p><p>Lorcan nodded, trailing Rowan to the other boy’s room. His bed was pushed into a corner. A dresser rested against the adjacent wall, topped with a few potted plants and candles. A desk sat in the other corner, shelves above it overflowing with books. On Rowan’s freshly-made bed lay a stuffed animal, an old, well-loved hawk by the looks of it.</p><p>“Morgana brought it,” Rowan explained, his cheeks flushing an adorable pink.</p><p>“I think it’s very cute, pretty boy,” Lorcan said. “Especially your little bird friend.”</p><p>Rowan frowned. “You’re making fun of me.”</p><p>“No. No! I’m not! I really do think it’s cute.”</p><p>“Whatever he’s saying, he’s probably lying!” Isa shouted from the other room.</p><p>“ISA!” Lorcan bellowed. He heard furious giggling and shook his head. “I’m not lying, Rowan,” he reassured his roommate. “Do they have a name?”</p><p>Rowan’s answering smile was shy. “Icarus.”</p><p>“Fuck, you really are obsessed with Greek mythology.”</p><p>“Lorcan!”</p><p>“Alright alright, fine. You hungry?”</p><p>They all went out for dinner that night, parting ways with hugs and smiles and promises to visit later in the week. Lorcan practically carried Rowan up the stairs, his keys jingling as he unlocked the door. Dropping them in the bowl on the table next to the door, Lorcan toed off his boots. Rowan patted his shoulder in silent thanks, asleep on his feet as he shuffled to his bedroom.</p><p>Lorcan shut his door, turning off his lamp and crawling into bed. He knew Whitethorn was sleeping in the other room, but it felt so strange not to hear the soft steady rhythm of his breath only a few feet away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*my older brother in Ojibwe</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. betrayal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ouch. is really all i can say</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Today was most certainly not Rowan’s day. He swore the gods were determined to make everything that could go wrong, go wrong.</p><p>This morning, he slept through his alarm and barely made it to class on time. After missing his bus. Then on his way to get coffee with Aelin, he tripped and landed in a puddle, knees soaked and skinned. The paper he turned in a few weeks ago on the importance of Greek mythology in modern day society was returned. With a ‘see me after class please.’</p><p>The professor was kind enough as he explained the failing grade to Rowan, his grey eyes crinkling with pity.</p><p>Not to mention the endless deluge of icy rain on Orynth. On his rush out the door, he forgot an umbrella. He sat in front of the roaring fire in the library and tried to dry out as much as possible while reading for pleasure. But then he had to spill his near-boiling coffee on himself, swearing loudly in the silence of the library. The librarian kicked him out, with a promise that he could return <em>if</em> he was able to be quiet.</p><p>Finally, his last class of the day let out. Walking to the bus stop, a car sped past and kicked up a massive wave of icy, dirty water that soaked Rowan to his bones. He quickly ducked under the overhang of a building to check on his backpack, thanking the gods that he decided to sacrifice his raincoat to protect his laptop and notebooks. He would dry out if he got wet. They would be ruined if they got wet.</p><p>Catching the bus at the last second, Rowan pulled out his phone to check the time. The screen flared to life, showing him the notifications he had missed in the last two hours. Then it died.</p><p>“Fuck,” he swore quietly, getting the evil eye from an old lady sitting near him. Thankfully, his stop was next. Rowan hopped off the bus, walking down the street back to their apartment. Just to complete his bad day, he stepped in dog shit on the sidewalk and nearly dropped his keys down the storm drain.</p><p>By the time he inserted the key into the lock and twisted, he wanted to cry. Curl up in his bed with a carton of ice cream and maybe takeaway and just cry. He was so focused on taking his boots off and hanging his jacket up that he didn’t hear the thumping. Or the moaning.</p><p>“Oh gods, Lorcan yes!” a girl cried, paired with rhythmic banging.</p><p>Rowan couldn’t stop the tears that cascaded down his cheeks. He grabbed the container of tiramisu from the fridge and retreated to his bedroom, thankfully not sharing a wall with Lorcan’s room. Numb, he changed into dry clothes and crawled into his bed. Then he connected his airpods and set them to noise cancellation, trying to read and only getting lost in the sea of letters.</p><p>A while later, he felt the front door shut and footsteps across the hardwood floor. Then the water in the shower turned on.</p><p>Rowan deemed it safe to return what little of the tiramisu remained to the fridge and make himself a cup of cocoa while he was in the kitchen. He misjudged the time because the bathroom door opened, Lorcan’s humming carrying throughout the apartment.</p><p>“Whitethorn?” Lorcan called out, padding into the kitchen wrapped in a towel. “Oh hey, I didn’t know you were home.”</p><p>Ignoring him, Rowan dumped a handful of tiny marshmallows into his mug before pouring the simmering, steaming cocoa overtop. He shoved past Lorcan blocking the doorway, stalking to his room and shutting the door behind him. In this moment, he was glad the door locked.</p><p>Lorcan banged on the wood, calling Rowan’s name. His real name, not ‘pretty boy’ or ‘Whitethorn.’ Rowan didn’t say a word, didn’t go to unlock or open the door. As he sipped his cocoa, managing to burn his tongue, Rowan cried silently.</p><p>His day had been absolute and utter shit. And to top it all off, he came home to Lorcan fucking some girl.</p><p>Rowan thought Lorcan felt the same way about him, but he must have guessed wrong. The thought stung, a dagger plunging into his heart and twisting.</p><p>Once he fell asleep, he slept soundly without dreaming until the next morning.</p><p>Checking for noise, Rowan deemed it safe to leave his room. He slathered cream cheese on a bagel and sliced up an apple for breakfast, eating quietly and peacefully in the silence. Then he heard the key turn in the lock and saw the door open. He didn’t have time to flee before Lorcan dropped his hockey bag on the floor and shut the door a bit too roughly.</p><p>A scowl had been etched onto Lorcan’s face; it only deepened as he met Rowan’s eyes. “The fuck’s up with you, Whitethorn?” he snarled, dropping his keys into the ceramic bowl.</p><p>Rowan stood, collecting his bowl of apples and making to head for the safety of his room. Lorcan’s strides ate up the ground and suddenly he stood between Rowan and his room. His onyx eyes glittered with pent-up anger.</p><p>“I heard her,” Rowan said calmly. He watched a thousand emotions ripple across his roommate’s face, settling on a mix of shame and anger. “Next time, please tell me when you’re fucking someone so I don’t walk in on it.”</p><p>This time, when he pushed past Lorcan, his roommate let him go.</p><p>Twenty minutes later, he was gathering his stuff for class. He felt more than heard Lorcan linger in the doorway.</p><p>“She didn’t mean anything, Ro,” Lorcan confessed.</p><p>Rowan didn’t turn around, methodically continuing to pack up his backpack. “Then why did you fuck her?” he asked, struggling to keep his voice even.</p><p>“It was an accident, Ro. I promise. Essar, sheーwe were working on a project together. It just happened. Please.”</p><p>“Maybe you should’ve thought about that beforehand, Lorcan. Use your brain instead of your dick.”</p><p>“Rowan, please.”</p><p>“Have a nice day.” His chest felt tight, his eyes burning with tears. Rowan grabbed his shoes and his water bottle, collecting his keys from the dish before shutting the front door. He sat on the second floor landing, tugging his boots on before heading outside. On the bus, he managed to stay collected. But as soon as he saw Aelin and Elide waiting for him by their stop on the way to class, he broke down.</p><p>Rowan felt completely and utterly betrayed by the boy he loved.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. shame</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lorcan collapsed on his bed after Rowan left, feeling like shit. He knew he shouldn’t have slept with Essar. It was stupid. Stupid stupid stupid.</p><p>He knew he had class later, but he didn’t feel like going. Not with the guilt coursing through him.</p><p>The numbness in Rowan’s voice kept echoing through his head. <em>Maybe you should’ve thought about that beforehand, Lorcan.</em></p><p>“Fuck!” he shouted, digging the heel of his hands into his eye sockets. As if that would keep the tears at bay.</p><p>He was in love with Rowan Whitethorn. And he had just fucked everything up.</p><p>An hour later, he still lay there staring at the ceiling. Essar had texted him asking him if he was coming today. He didn’t reply. Their project was almost done anyway. All that was left was inputting the estimated material costs into the spreadsheet.</p><p>If he looked at her, he feared the shame would become an unbearable weight he was forced to carry. Like Atlas with the weight of the world on his shoulders.</p><p>His phone buzzed. Lorcan numbly picked it up, expecting to see another text from his project partner. Not a call from his grandmother. He picked up.</p><p><em>Elide called me. Lorcan, what were you thinking, you stupid boy. I thought you loved him.</em> Ma Okwi’s voice was stern.</p><p>Lorcan sat up, crossing his legs under himself.<em> I do love him,</em> he whispered, shoulders sagging. His breathing shook and shuddered as he tried not to cry.</p><p>Her voice softened. <em>Oh, Lorcan. Are you crying?</em></p><p>“No.” And yet, tears trickled down his cheeks and he could taste their salt on his lips.</p><p><em>Don’t lie to me, boy.</em> A short pause, filled with tense silence. <em>What happened? Tell me the entire story. I want to help you fix the mess you caused.</em></p><p>So Lorcan told her, keeping most of the details to himself. Except for when it came to Rowan. The words spilled from him like a waterfall. <em>I fucked up, I know I did,</em> he cried. <em>It was a stupid, stupid mistake.</em></p><p>
  <em>Yes, it was. To heal the rift between you two, you know what you need to do, don’t you?</em>
</p><p>Lorcan nodded, more for himself than anything. “I know.”</p><p>“Remember, Lorcan, we love you. Even Elide. Your mistakes don’t define you.” Her accent always got thicker when more emotion was in her voice. Even across the continent, he could see her reassuring smile and feel the comforting warmth of her hug.</p><p>☩ ☩ ☩</p><p>When Rowan returned home, he tried to head straight for his room. Lorcan instead asked him to sit. So Rowan sat on the chair facing his roommate. Neither of them wanted to be there. To have this conversation.</p><p>Lorcan opened his mouth to speak. Then closed it as if deciding against it. Exhaling heavily, Lorcan slouched. His elbows rested on his knees, his hands tangled in his hair.</p><p>His onyx eyes were full of pain when he looked up at Rowan finally.</p><p>“Rowan, I’m truly sorry. I mean it. It was stupid andーand most definitely not worth it,” Lorcan apologised, rushing the last part.</p><p>“It’s not about that,” Rowan answered softly.</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>The sorrow in those words, those two words that carried more weight that either of them cared to admit, broke him. Broke them both.</p><p>They both knew it wasn’t truly about Lorcan’s sleeping with Essar. It was deeper than that. Yet neither would acknowledge it.</p><p>Rowan crossed the short distance between them, sitting down next to his roommate, their thighs pressed together. When Lorcan didn’t immediately jerk away, he leaned his head on his roommate’s shoulder. A huff of warm air brushed Rowan’s forehead as Lorcan turned his head. He shivered.</p><p>“Will you forgive me for fucking everything up?” Lorcan whispered, his words barely audible.</p><p>“For now, I suppose I will.”</p><p>“That’s good.”</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. best friend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>do have some platonic elorcan. it’s a short one</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lorcan’s cheek stung.</p><p>Praise Hellas, his best friend was tiny but she packed quite a punch when she wanted to.</p><p>“I deserved that,” he grumbled in annoyance, holding her iced coffee to his cheek.</p><p>Elide huffed out a breath that sent a loose piece of hair flying before it fell back in exactly the same place as before. “You are so damn lucky Rowan doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. You most definitely deserved that,” she said.</p><p>“And you do?” Lorcan tried his hardest not to laugh because he didn’t want to get kicked in the shin today.</p><p>“When I want to, yes,” Elide stated matter-of-factly. Her dark eyes held a challenge, one Lorcan wasn’t keen to take her up on.</p><p>“What’s Elide saying?” Fenrys asked, sliding into a chair smoothly as his twin trailed him.</p><p>“That I can be mean when I want to be,” Elide snapped. Fenrys wisely kept his mouth shut, staring down at the table as he took a long, long drink from his water bottle. Then she focused her anger on Lorcan. Under her breath, she hissed, “Lorcan Salvaterre, one of these days you have to stop being so fucking scared and just tell him how you really feel.”</p><p>Lorcan barely managed to keep his temper in check. His famous temper Elide normally calmed, not stoked. “Why don’t you take your own fucking advice, huh? Instead of sticking your nose into my life every two seconds.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them.</p><p>His best friend, who stuck by his side through for every stupid thing he had ever done, shoved her chair back and stuffed her things into her backpack. She snatched her iced coffee out of his hand, shoving past Rowan and Aelin who had just arrived and slammed the door behind her.</p><p>Lorcan slumped in his chair, his cheek a dull ache. He couldn’t stop seeing the tears in Elide’s eyes as she left. It hurt him, more than he expected.</p><p>“Lorcan,” Rowan began, his hand settling on Lorcan’s shoulder.</p><p>Lorcan shoved Rowan’s hand off of him, albeit a bit too roughly. Then he stood, gathering his things and stalking out of the study room they booked. He forced himself not to acknowledge the hurt on his roommate’s face as he left, heading across campus to one of the nearly-always abandoned sections of the engineering building to study in.</p><p>Three hours later, in walked the last person he expected to see.</p><p>“Hi, Lor,” she said quietly.</p><p>“Hey, Elide,” he mumbled, frantically cleaning up his mess of papers.</p><p>“We both said some mean things earlier and I just wanna apologiseー”</p><p>“I forgive you, Lochan.”</p><p>“ーbecause it wasn’t and isn’t my place to tell you what to do.”</p><p>Patting the couch, Lorcan pulled Elide into his lap when she sat down. She wrapped her arms around him and he her. They sat quietly until Lorcan had to pee, content to bask in the warmth of each others embrace. Elide laughed when he ran into the corner of the table, swearing loudly in the relative silence.</p><p>Even though it had only been a few hours, Lorcan missed his best friend. Now he was glad to have her back, even if she teased him about how head over heels in love with Rowan Whitethorn he was.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. pond hockey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ik i haven’t updated this in a long time but i needed some rowcan in my life so that means you get some too. does this really fit with everything else going on in the story? no but it doesn’t really matter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rolling over, Rowan screamed.</p><p>Elide sat cross-legged on his bed, staring at her phone. Her dark eyes flicked to him. “Hiya, Ro,” she said with the beginnings of a smile.</p><p>Rubbing his eyes, Rowan sat up, the covers puddling at his waist. Aelin rifled through his drawers, looking for something. Cackling, she waved his single set of long underwear in the air, victorious.</p><p>“What in gods’ names is happening?” Rowan grumbled, covering his yawn with the back of his hand.</p><p>“Oh my gods, Ro, how could you forget? It’s pond hockey day and we’re gonna go watch your boyfriendー”</p><p>Rowan glowered. “He’s not my boyfー”</p><p>Aelin waved a hand, cutting him off and continuing. “ーwatch <em>Lorcan</em> and the others play. It’s cold. Get dressed.” She flung the long underwear at him, turning back to his drawers and tossing a hoodie, a pair of dark green sweatpants, and a pair of thick woolen socks in his direction.</p><p>Half an hour later Rowan was stuffed into the passenger seat of Elide’s car with a thermos of green tea and a thick fleece blanket in his arms. Aelin sat behind him, braiding her hair with a small elastic held between her teeth.</p><p>“Where are we going?” Rowan asked Elide.</p><p>His roommate’s best friend didn’t even take her eyes off the road, replying, “Arnes Lake.” Rowan didn’t know where that was; she answered without his asking. “It’s the largest lake outside of Orynth. The North Sea feeds it. We should be there in under an hour.”</p><p>“If we’re leaving so early, when did they leave?” The clock on the dash showed just after 7:30 in the morning.</p><p>Aelin snickered. “Yesterday afternoon. It’s a stupid tradition that they have to go up the night before and make an ice fishing hole. But instead of ice fishing, they all go through the rite of death. Basically you strip down to underwearーor all the way if you’re drunk enoughーand jump in the hole. There’s always a huge bonfire so no one freezes. Although people have lost toes and fingertips before.”</p><p>Rowan turned in his seat, the seatbelt straining against his chest, to frown at his friend. “Do I even want to know how you know that?”</p><p>Her cheshire grin was all the answer he needed.</p><p>Elide slowed to merge, her blinker beeping. Then they accelerated, the city falling into the distance.</p><hr/><p>Blanket, skates, and thermos clutched in his arms, Rowan carefully picked his way across the snowy frozen lake, following Elide and Aelin best he could. Aelin had tossed him his gifted skates from the trunk with a wink, which he pretended he didn’t see.</p><p>“Whitethorn!” someone shouted before he was knocked over into the snow.</p><p>Fenrys’s blonde braids poked from his hat, his grin blinding. The cold was slowly seeping through Rowan’s clothing. “Fen, can you get off, please?” he asked, trying not to shiver.</p><p>Fenrys was hauled off of him and shoved away with growl before Lorcan stood silhouetted in the weak sunlight filtering through the clouds. Rowan took his roommate’s offered hand, hauled to his feet before he could fully catch his balance.</p><p>“Aelin drag you up here?” Lorcan asked, bending down to help Rowan gather his things from the snow. Rowan nodded, a shiver running through him. “C’mon, it’s warmer by the fire. The ice up here is several feet thick, don’t worry. I see that crease in your brows, pretty boy. No one’s falling in today.” Lorcan grinned scarily. “We did that last night.”</p><p>When he and Lorcan finally got to where everyone else was, Aelin and Elide were already huddled together, squished in a sleeping bag Rowan was pretty sure meant to fit only one person. The fire crackled and popped merrily, sitting on a metal grate six inches above the ice. On the rectangle of cleared snow, two nets were set up with a black line spraypainted for center ice. Already, a group played. Not too far away from the first one, a second was being shoveled off.</p><p>Rowan sank onto a bench by the fire with a sigh. A thick coat was draped over his shoulders before Lorcan sat down next to him, knocking his knee against Rowan’s. His smile was shy. “I’m glad you came,” Lorcan said quietly.</p><p>“Salvaterre!” one of Lorcan’s teammates shouted from the ice. “Get your ass out here!”</p><p>Lorcan squeezed Rowan’s knee, seemingly without thinking. “They’re summoning me. Stay warm, pretty boy.” Then he stood, tugging on his gloves and grabbing his stick as he tromped through the snow to where his team waited.</p><p>☩ ☩ ☩</p><p>When Lorcan saw Rowan picking his way across the lake, his heart skipped a beat. He didn’t think his roommate would be coming, but from the sly grin on Elide’s face, she had something to say about that.</p><p>Two short games later, Lorcan headed back to where Elide sat on her unzipped sleeping bag, playing a card game with Rowan, Aelin, and Fenrys. Lorcan squeezed himself between Rowan and Fenrys, making sure to wipe his blades dry and put on his blade guards before getting comfortable. He didn’t want to slice anyone’s leg open today.</p><p>“Uno!” Elide shouted victoriously. Then she squawked in outrage as Rowan threw down a plus-four card. “Ugh, I hate you!”</p><p>“Uno,” Rowan said with a small smile. Lorcan snuck a glance, seeing Rowan’s last card allowed him to choose any color. He snickered to himself, eliciting a glare from both Elide and Aelin. Since it was Fenrys’s turn, Aelin hissed at him to make it green because she had a reverse order card. Fenrys grimaced, a sign he didn’t have green. The girls huffed unhappily, conferring with each other before deciding on a card. “Hey! That’s cheating!” Rowan cried.</p><p>Aelin flipped him off, smirking as she slammed a red six on the pile. Elide added her card, declaring, “Blue.” Then Rowan set his last card on the pile and they all stared at it, Aelin and Elide going red.</p><p>Lorcan hauled Rowan to his feet, dragging him away from the girls before they could explode. Near one of the smaller rinks where little kids were playing, they collapsed into the snow in laughter. Rowan laughed until tears pricked his eyes, drawing stares from the little kids. Watching his roommate and the boy he loved but wouldn’t confess his feelings to, Lorcan wanted to kiss him so badly.</p><p>He caught Rowan staring at him, his silver brows furrowed and his head tilted in confusion. Lorcan pushed his want aside, smoothing the crease in his roommate’s skin with his thumb. Standing, he extended a hand to Rowan.</p><p>“Let’s put those skates to good use,” he said with an easy smile. Only Rowan managed to get his smiles to be so carefree. Not that he knew it, of course. When Rowan paled, most likely remembering the first and last time Lorcan took him skating, Lorcan told him softly, “I won’t let you fall. Even if you do, I’ll be right there to help you back up. Yeah?”</p><p>By the time Lorcan was called back over to play later, Rowan’s cheeks were flushed, his nose pink. His green eyes sparkled in the sun, now fully out with nary a cloud in the sky. Lorcan ruffled Rowan’s silver hair, dodging the other boy’s halfhearted swat. </p><p>Collecting Elide, he dragged her over to the ice where the team waited. She raised a single dark brow at the unrestrained smile on his face, to which he quickly sobered before his teammates could tease him about how they knew the infamous Lorcan Salvaterre had at least one smile in him. Glancing over when there was a momentary lull in the game, Lorcan saw Rowan standing off to the side watching and smiling. He waved a gloved hand; Lorcan didn’t have time to wave back before the puck was passed to him and his mind refocused on their game.</p><p>“You’re in looooove,” Elide crooned as they walked back to where Aelin and Rowan sat.</p><p>Lorcan thwacked her shins with his stick. “Shut up.”</p><p>“You know I’m right.” She dug her gloved hand into his side, knowing the only spot he was ticklish.</p><p>“Elide!” He wormed his way out of her grip, jabbing his stick between her legs so she tripped and fell onto the flannel-lined sleeping bag. Her expression was murderous and he grabbed Fenrys, holding him in front as a human shield; Fenrys yelped.</p><p>“Nono, please,” Fenrys pleaded. “I’m innocent!”</p><p>“Can you wait to murder each other until we get home?” Rowan asked. “I’m hungry. And this weather makes me want pho, anyone else?” Hands raised in agreement, Lorcan and Elide’s squabbling forgotten at the mention of food.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. spring rain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is based entirely off a tiktok i saw a while back. but it’s so cute</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rowan loved Orynth’s botanical gardens. The warmth and the smells reminded him of home, of exploring the countryside with his mum during the summer months.</p><p>At nearly one, the place was nearly empty. Technically it was open all day to the university students, especially the botany ones, but no one really came during their lunch. Today it was even more abandoned, with few people wanting to venture out into the freezing spring downpour.</p><p>The mother and her two little boys barely spared him a glance, too enraptured in their mother telling them about the Venus flytrap. Rowan smiled, heading to his favorite spot with an uninterrupted view of the sky. There, he lay down, balling up his sweater for a pillow and staring up.</p><p>The sky was a dreary shade of grey, raindrops hitting the glass dome and all sliding downward.</p><p>Inside, it was delightfully warm. Settling into his book, Rowan felt entirely at peace.</p>
<hr/><p>“Motherfuー” Lorcan swore, ducking under the awning of the bookshop as the storm unleashed a deluge of frigid rain onto the city. Stepping inside, the bell jingled discordantly.</p><p>He knew on rainy days, Rowan liked to spend his hours here curled into a hidden window seat with a cup of tea.</p><p>“Hi, are you looking for Rowan?” a feminine voice asked. Lorcan turned around, already on the defensive. The girl smiled, holding a short stack of books in her arms. “He’s probably at the botanical gardens if he’s not here,” she laughed easily, the sound bright in the grey day.</p><p>“Thanks,” Lorcan ground out, flipping his hood back up and stepping back into the rain. He knew roughly where the botanical gardens were, which thankfully wasn’t too far.</p><p>When the door shut behind him, the student behind the desk pointed to a clipboard, not even bothering to look up. Lorcan signed in, seeing Rowan’s name and the exit time left empty, so he was still there. The heat and humidity was oppressive as he passed through the rainforest section, heading for the main dome.</p><p>There, his stupid roommate lay on the floor reading a book.</p><p>Lorcan dropped his backpack and water bottle, sticking his hands in his pockets and bent at the waist so he hovered above Rowan. “Hi,” he said.</p><p>Rowan lowered his book. “Hello?”</p><p>“Can I join you?” Lorcan asked. The silence stretched taut between them as Rowan didn’t respond. “It’s been a rough day.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“So can I?”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s cool.”</p><p>Lorcan slowly lowered himself to the ground, leg muscles protesting. Before he actually laid down, he looked at his silver-haired roommate. “You sure?”</p><p>Rowan rolled his eyes, patting the ground beside him. “Lorcan, just lay down.”</p><p>Lorcan lay next to Rowan, their sides pressed together. Folding his arms behind his head, he stared up at the glass dome as Rowan returned to the book he was reading. Turning his head, he found green eyes watching him. “What?” he snapped.</p><p>“Nothing,” Rowan murmured, marking his page before getting up to change his position. Instead of lying side-by-side like they had been, his roommate now lay perpendicular to Lorcan, his mop of unruly silver hair a weight on his stomach. Then he opened his book again, kicking up one knee to act as an anchor so he didn’t move.</p><p>“Thanks.” The word was barely more than a whisper, but Lorcan saw the slight dip of Rowan’s chin in acknowledgement.</p><p>One of the employees stumbled upon them an hour later, both asleep. The silver-haired one curled up with his back to her, his head on the other boy’s chest and hand clutching the front of his hoodie. She smiled to herself, tiptoeing out of the room so not to wake them. She remembered the days when she had been like that, a girl so in love during her university years. She hoped they stayed in love, unlike her and her ex-husband.</p>
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